Oh man, let me tell you, I was really feeling Honeymustard today. Between that and tapping into the end of a particularly good writing wind, this turned out pretty good I think?
Pairing: Honeymustard (Uf!Sans x Us!Papyrus)
Prompt: #183 – Car sex looks so much easier in the movies
Tags: Us!Papyrus named Honey, Top!Red, Bottom!Honey, filthy smut, car sex, the smallest hint of daddy kink because I can’t control myself, their brothers should’ve never let these two get together
wc: ~1500
“turn here,” Red said.
Honey looked over to see which direction Red was pointing at, but his face was covered by a giant map he had in his hand. “which way?”
“uhhhh…..” The map made a loud crinkling sound as Red spread it out fully in front of him, using his arms to turn the map to the left, and then to the right as if he was trying to calibrate it. “left, i think?”
“are you sure?”
“fuckin’ hell honey, i have no idea,” Red laughed. The sound was boisterous and loud, just like the small skeleton was.
The whole idea had been Red’s in the first place. He had flopped down next to Honey on the couch while Edge and Blue were off training, asking him if he was down for a little fun. Now, to Honey, the phrase ‘a little fun’ usually meant finding a relatively clean surface to bang each other senseless (although sometimes they ended up in the most filthy places), so of course he had agreed. He was always down to fuck, and Red never disappointed him. However, when Red led Honey to Edge’s brand new convertible in the garage and handed him the keys, he knew that he was in too deep.
He should’ve backed out, could’ve backed out, but there was something about Red that made him agree to all of his hair-brained schemes all the time. Maybe it was the crazed curl of his teeth when they did something particularly dangerous together, just wide enough for the light to glint off his singular golden tooth. Or maybe it was the telltale tint of Red’s namesake in his pants whenever he explained his plans to Honey, promises of good times to come if Honey accepted.
So that’s why Honey went along with Red’s crazy plan to steal Edge’s car and drive out on an impromptu road trip to chase after a comet that was supposed to fall that night, a very rare one that only visited Earth every 75 years.
He quickly turned left, like Red had directed, veering onto a dirt path. After about half an hour the path started to incline upwards as it curved around the side of a large mountain. Honey glanced out of the corner of his sockets at the scenery around them, finally settling on Red slouched beside him. “we almost there?”
Red tilted his head to look at him, flashing him a large grin. “yea, we just gotta get ta the top and we’re good.”
A jaunty tune started to play from somewhere in the car, startling the two of them. Red patted down his jacket, reaching into his inside pocket and pulling out his phone. He glanced at the screen, stifling a laugh. “oh my god, it’s boss,” he chortled. “should i pick it up?”
“don’t you dare,” Honey warned.
“holy shit, i’m gonna do it,” Red wheezed, inching towards the button.
Honey slammed on the breaks, bracing himself as the car screeched to a halt. Red, caught off guard, was thrust forward from the sudden stop, his seatbelt being the only thing that was preventing him from flying through the windshield. While he was still dazed Honey threw the car into park and reached over, grabbing Red’s phone and tossing it out over the side of the car.
“honey…” Red trailed off, watching the phone tumble over the side of the cliff.
“fuck fuck, shit. sorry red, i didn’t mean to–”
Red leaned over the seat in Honey’s direction, grabbing the strings of his hoodie to close the distance between them. He pressed his teeth against Honey’s, flicking his tongue out to lap against Honey’s teeth. Confused but aroused, Honey opened his mouth, fisting a handful of Red’s jacket as his jaw was infiltrated by Red’s roaming tongue. He moaned as Red’s hand rubbed against his thigh, opening his legs wide for the other to slip in. His magic had already materialized, a dripping mound throbbing and burning for attention.
Red broke the kiss, sliding his tongue down to lap at the base of Honey’s neck. “god, that was so fuckin’ hot,” Red breathed, scraping his teeth across the bone. Honey let out a stuttered groan, breath hitching at every lick and nip against his cervical vertebrae. He reached his hand out blindly, grabbing Red’s hand after a few tries and shoving it against his covered cunt.
“red–” Honey thrust into his hand– “please!”
Red growled, slipping his hand up and under Honey’s hoodie. He wiggled it past the waistband of Honey’s shorts, rubbing the summoned cunt with loud squelching sounds. “damn, honey. you must really want it, huh? lemme just….” Red struggled out of his seat belt, using his non-dominant hand to fumble and release the buckle, crawling over the middle divider into Honey’s lap. “hey darlin’,” Red grinned at him. “can ya pull the lever for me?”
Honey nodded absently, bucking into Red’s hands as he reached over on the side of his seat to pull the lever that controlled the seatback. The two of them yelped as it suddenly fell back, sending the both of them down into a horizontal position.
“car sex looks so much easier in the movies , huh?” Red laughed, retreating from Honey just long enough to relieve him of his shorts and place Honey’s legs over his shoulders. Before Honey could react in any way Red’s fingers were suddenly inside of him, thrusting in and out harshly.
“a-ah, fuck!” Honey screamed, gripping the sides of the seat as his body rocked from the force of the finger banging. “fuck–red, fuck me, ah!”
“yer wish is my command.”
Red pulled his fingers out, offering them to Honey, who graciously opened his mouth. Honey stuck his impossibly long tongue out, wrapping them around Red’s fingers and sucking his wetness off with loud moans. When he was all done he unfurled his tongue to release Red’s fingers, giving him a wink.
“honey, my god, how th’ fuck are ya so sexy,” Red groaned, pulling down his shorts to reveal his cock. Honey felt himself salivate; Red’s dick was the perfect amount of long and girthy, with a few piercings along the bottom that added that extra oomph that made him see stars. Red used one hand to pull him close so that his entrance was at the perfect height for fucking, pumping his dick with the other.
“ya want some of daddy’s cock?”
“yes, fuck, god, fuck me, please!” Honey cried.
Not one to drag things out for too long, Red pushed his cock into Honey, rutting shallowly until they were flush with each other. Honey threw his head back in ecstasy, keening from the feeling of Red entering him. It was like Red was everywhere inside of him, stretching out his cunt to its limit. Red leaned down, bending Honey’s legs closer to his torso as he ran his tongue along his sockets to gather up the loose tears. “ya look so beautiful like this, ya know?” Red drawled, pulling out his dick far enough so that only the head was still inside.
“re-ahhhhh!” Red pushed back in suddenly, setting a comfortable pace as he shoved his dick in deep with each thrust. Breathing was about the extent of what Honey could do as each thrust felt as if it was going to send him straight to heaven. He reached out to loop his arms around Red’s neck, pulling him against him as his pussy clenched around rhythmically, each breath a shuddering moan as he was fucked closer and closer to his orgasm.
“look at ya, so eager for my thick cock,” Red spat with a particularly rough thrust. “yer pussy is tryin’ to gobble me up, it’s so fuckin’ hot. are ya gettin’ close?”
Honey nodded, phalanges tightening around Red’s back as the telltale warm of his oncoming orgasm washed over him. “gah, fu-fuck, red–sans! i’m coming!”
“papyrus, fuck, cum for me!”
Honey screamed as his pussy spasmed, clamping down around Red’s dick as he squirted. His legs dug into Red’s shoulder from the force of the orgasm, lifting him slightly off the seat. Red’s hands tightened on his hips as he began to thrust fast and hard.
“ahh, so-so fuckin’ tight! God–!” He yelled, pulling their pelves together as he unloaded into Honey.
Honey moaned softly as Red slowly extracted his dick, gasping as he felt the liquid exit his body. “oh man, boss is gonna throw a tantrum when he sees this,” Red said, looking down at the seat.
Curious, Honey scooted back a few inches and sat up to look at the mess. The bottom of the seat was covered in their body fluids, red and orange mixing together to pool over the edge and onto the floor. Edge definitely wasn’t going to be getting those stains out of the car anytime soon.
“oops.”
The two of them made eye contact, staring at each other for a second before bursting out into loud laughter.
“holy fuck, they’re gonna kill us! ahaahaha!”
“pffftttttt, blue and edge are never going to let us go out again!”
“best road trip ever!” Red yelled, falling into a giggle pile with Honey.
Later they would regret their decisions, but for now, they would enjoy each other.
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