The Bonechelor – Final Bone Ceremony

(After going so long without updating this fic, I forgot how hilarious the titles sound).

Round 6 (previous)
Masterlist
(I also plan on making this available on AO3 soon).

The final elimination is (finally) upon us! Just as a refresher, the options on the last poll were:

A. ExpensiveSpicyHoneyDog
B. Puppymoney
C. Plot Twist!

Let’s see which option won out. 😏 (Warning for tooth-rotting fluff).

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

For once, Cash awoke
before Twist. Out the window, the sky was beginning to glow pink. Too early to
be awake, basically. Cash closed his eyes and squirmed in Twist’s grip, trying
to find sleep again. But sleep didn’t seem interested in finding him.

Carefully, he
wriggled himself out of Twist’s arms and slipped out of bed. He looked at
Twist, still heavily asleep. He looked strange in sleep. Unusually tranquil
without a lazy grin on his face or clever comments coming out of his mouth.
Cash almost woke him, then decided against it. It was too early to deal with
Twist. After finding his cigarettes and lighter, he crept out onto the balcony.

He leaned over the
dew-damp railing and watched the sun come up. The smoke from his cigarette
glowed milky orange in the light. He inhaled deeply, holding it in his chest
cavity. He heard the double doors swinging open behind him. “were you even
asleep?” he sighed.

He felt Twist’s arm
around his shoulders and shrugged it off, but relinquished when he replaced it.
“Nah, didn’t get much sleep.” Cash hummed and breathed out a stream of smoke.

“next time you’ll
sleep in your own bed.”

“That is my bed,”
Twist pointed out.

Cash scowled. “every
bed in this house belongs to me.”

Twist snickered
softly. “Well, bed’s comfier with you in it.”

Cash pressed his
cigarette out on the railing. “what do you want?” he asked.

“Just wanna know what
yer doin’ out here. ‘s cold.”

“came here to think.
and you’re not making it very easy.”

“Wan’ me ta leave?”

Cash shrugged. “i
don’t care.” He swallowed when Twist squeezed his shoulder.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout the
ceremony?”

“don’t need to. i’ve
already made a decision.” He felt Twist go stiff. “i’m thinking about… after.”

“What happens after?”

Cash lit a second
cigarette and inhaled. “dunno. guess i’ll find out.”

Cash stood in the
shower for longer than was probably necessary. He turned the hot water on high
and let it rush over him, clearing out his skull. He cleaned his damaged socket
tenderly, dabbing around the edges of the sensitive bone. After climbing out,
he studied his reflection in the fogged mirror.

His face was flushed
purple from the hot water, and pink magic had flooded the area around his
broken socket. His chest twisted and he glanced away, placing his eyepatch back
on. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed into his bedroom. It almost
surprised him when Twist wasn’t waiting to ambush him.

After dressing, he
was about to head downstairs when he noticed Slim’s jacket hanging over the
back of his chair. He’d forgotten to give it back. He swallowed and brushed his
hand over the ruff. It took a moment of fidgeting and deliberation before he
decided to slip his own off and wear Slim’s instead. He caught himself inhaling
it and froze. Shaking his head, he walked swiftly downstairs.

He found the others
waiting for him at the foot of the stairs and his soul pulsed. Twist was
standing near the front door, away from the rest of the group. He winked at
Cash. “Good luck, Patches.”

Cash managed a grunt
of acknowledgement. He eyed the other three and swallowed. Stretch folded his
arms. “got a speech prepared?” he asked snidely.

“fuck you.”

Stretch grinned.
“again?”

“Quiet down, love,”
Edge said, bemused.

“why?” Stretch
smirked at Edge, leaning in. “you didn’t.” Edge dug his elbow into Stretch’s
ribs and he snickered. Cash glanced quickly at Slim, but he was grinning.

“let’s just get to
the point,” Cash said dryly, summoning a sleek violet bone of magic. He placed
it in Edge’s hand, glancing at Stretch. “you get to share one.”

“How appropriate,”
Edge said, faintly amused. Cash frowned.

“is this because we
shared you?” Stretch purred, leaning in.

Cash pinched
Stretch’s jaw. “next time, i want you on your knees.” He let go, and Stretch at
least had the decency to blush. Edge’s arm crept around his waist and he leaned
in as Cash moved on to Slim.

He summoned another
bone. It tingled against his fingers, infused with accidental affection. His
soul was racing a mile a minute, and his breaths felt thin. “u-um…” Fuck, he
couldn’t even look Slim in the eye.

“you’re wearing my
jacket.” Slim ran his hand down the sleeve. He was smiling. “you gonna give
that to me?” he asked, nodding at the bone in Cash’s hand.

“i don’t know!” Cash
snapped. He took a deep breath. “only if you want it…”

“was there ever
really any doubt?”

Cash rolled the bone
over in his hands. “i’m not very good at this, you know,” he murmured, so the
others couldn’t hear.

Slim held his chin
and pressed their foreheads together. He was grinning. “oh yeah, you’re awful.”
With a soft breath, he touched their teeth together, slipping his tongue into
Cash’s mouth. Cash felt him taking the bone from his hand as they broke away.
“i’ll be keeping this, though,” he said, tapping it with his finger. “as a
promise.”

Cash narrowed his
socket. “what promise?”

“a promise that you
won’t chicken out on me,” Slim said, crossing his arms. “i actually kinda like
you, you know.”

Cash had to look away
for a moment to get his blush under control. “yeah, okay.” He gave Slim a faint
half-smile. “put out enough and i might actually stick around.”

Slim grinned. “good
boy.” He glanced over Cash’s shoulder, then gave him an inquiring look. Cash
looked behind him and found Twist watching them with a crooked smile. He
quickly turned away, frowning. “remember,” Slim whispered, stroking his jaw
with his thumb, “no chickening out.”

Cash slapped his hand
away and turned around, exhaling. He approached Twist with slumped shoulders.
“Good decision, Patches,” Twist said with a warm smile.

“i’m not done,” Cash
said, a little abruptly. Twist’s smile dwindled as he summoned another bone.
His hands shook around it and he stared at the ground. He didn’t know what to
do. A million regrets and terrors were already crushing him under their weight.
He could feel the others watching him, and that really wasn’t helping. “it’s
for you,” he said at last, scrambling the bone into Twist’s hands.

“What’re ya doin’?”
Twist’s voice was unnaturally quiet. It was unsettling, and only heightened
Cash’s panic.

“i think he’s giving
you his bone,” Stretch said unhelpfully. Cash didn’t even have the clarity of
mind to glare at him. He stood weakly in front of Twist, his courage quickly
diminishing.

“i-i’m picking you,”
he said. Fuck, he sounded pathetic. “you were the one who said i… didn’t have
to play by the rules.”

“Patches, I think ya
misunderstood me,” Twist said quietly. “I ain’t one a’ the options.”

Cash could feel his
jaw trembling. He grit his teeth and swallowed. “i don’t care, you stubborn
asshole,” he growled. “i’m picking you.”

Twist breathed and
closed his socket. “Ya can’t.”

“well—well why the
fuck not?” Cash snapped, taking a step back. “do you not want me?”

Twist didn’t answer.
He frowned at the floor, rolled his shoulders, then shook his head. “Tha’s not
what I said.”

“then—”

“Ye’ve got Slim—and
Edge and Stretch. What d’ya need me fer?”

Cash stared at him,
fists trembling at his sides. “fine,” he spat. “fuck you.” He turned without
another word and marched upstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

Cash was relieved
when it was Stretch and Edge who found him in the darkness of his room. And
disappointed. He’d faintly been hoping for someone else. He barely glanced
at them when they quietly closed the door. He turned on his side, facing away
from them, and flicked his lighter. Stretch sat beside him and placed a hand on
his shoulder. “don’t,” Cash hissed, pulling away.

Stretch glanced at
Edge, who sat on Cash’s other side. “Slim is talking to Twist,” he said. Cash
said nothing, but a lump formed in his throat. He stopped flicking his lighter,
squeezing it in his palm.

“do you want to come
downstairs?” Stretch asked gently.

“i don’t want to talk
to twist,” Cash said coldly.

Edge sighed and
yanked him up by his arm. “Come on. Sit up, you stubborn twat.”

Cash scowled at him.
“what do you want?”

“I want you to stop
feeling sorry for yourself and go talk to Twisted.”

“he made his
decision,” Cash said quietly. “that’s fine. i don’t care.”

“cash…” Stretch stroked
the back of his hand, meeting his eye with uncanny tenderness. “do you really
think twist doesn’t want you? after all he’s done for you?”

“what is this, good
cop, bad cop?”

Stretch gave Edge a
frustrated look, and Edge inhaled. “Your problem,” he said slowly, “is that
you’re both obstinate morons.”

Cash gave him a flat
look. “great. thanks. now that you’ve insulted me, do you want to get the fuck
out?”

Edge’s patience
seemed to be wavering, so Stretch stepped in. He cupped Cash’s jaw and turned
his face, looking at him with earnest unnatural of him. “twist cares about you,
idiot. it’s so fucking obvious. i think the problem is that you don’t want to
believe it. because you… don’t think you deserve it.” His eyes flickered to
Edge.

Cash clenched his
teeth. “he said.” He exhaled, his breath shaking. “he said he didn’t want me.”

“No, he didn’t,” Edge
said quietly. Cash looked at him and found a vulnerability he wasn’t used to in
the Edgelord. “He wants you. He doesn’t think he deserves you, but he wants
you.” Cash noticed Edge lacing his fingers with Stretch’s. He looked away. It
felt like he was intruding on something intimate.

“the guy’s an idiot,”
Stretch said. “you just need to talk some sense into him. slim’s given you a
headstart.”

Cash sighed, slumping
back against his pillows. “and i suppose you two are here to talk sense into
me.”

“precisely,” Stretch
said, smiling pleasantly.

Cash hummed his
disapproval, folding his arms. “you’re both idiots,” he mumbled, pushing
Stretch aside so he could climb off the bed. “i’m going for a walk. don’t fuck
in my bed while i’m gone.”

“no promises,”
Stretch called, looking far too smug for Cash’s liking. Even Edge betrayed a
certain degree of pride. He would have to fix that later. He had other shit to
get done right now.

He found Twist and
Slim sitting next to the lake in the grounds. He eyed the wet grass grimly
before sitting down next to Twist. Slim smiled at him, a knowing gleam in his
eyes. Cash gave him the finger and he rolled his eye-lights and got up. He crouched
to squeeze Cash’s hand before leaving.

It was a nice enough
day. The sun was warm, only a few clouds streaking across the sky. The air was
stirred by a light cool breeze, and it smelled like flowers and fresh grass. It
didn’t help ease Cash’s nerves much.

Now that he was here,
alone with Twist, he found he was having difficulty speaking. He plucked at the
grass and didn’t look up. Something needed to be said, but Cash wasn’t sure
what. He couldn’t think of the right words. Twist’s presence beside him felt
almost overbearing. Like a reminder that this silence had dragged on for far
too long, and it was only getting more and more uncomfortable—

“Patch—Cash, ‘re ya
happy?” Twist’s words rang through the silence. Cash couldn’t look at him, but
he nodded slowly. “With Slim—and Edge and Stretch. Yer happy with ‘em?”

“yes.”

“So then… why?”

“why, what?”

“You know what.”

Cash frowned, picking
at the grass more avidly. “because,” he said stubbornly.

“Is it fer sex?”
Twist asked. “Is that why ya want me?”

“yeah.” Cash
shrugged, digging his fingers deeper into the dirt. “and other things.”

“What other things?”

“i don’t fucking
know!” Cash snapped at last, looking up at Twist. He was watching him, with
unsettling focus. “you think i know how this shit works?”

“Ya think I do?”

Cash threw up his
arms, bewildered. “you’re the one who set this whole bloody thing up, aren’t
you? you tell me. what am i meant to do here?”

Twist looked away,
frowning. His cracked socket was glowing faintly. “Ya weren’ meant ta pick me,”
he whispered.

“well i did.”

“But, the others…”

“i picked them, too.”

“Patches…” Twist
sighed, but there was laughter in his eyes. Faint, but familiar, humour. He
touched Cash’s cheekbone with his fingertips, barely grazing the bone.

“you said i didn’t
have to play by the rules.”

Twist pulled a face.
“Yeah, ‘m really regrettin’ those words now.”

“can’t you just—can’t
you just let me have this?” Cash felt bitterly desperate. He could hear how
pathetic he sounded.

“Now yer jus’ bein’
greedy,” Twist said, grinning. Cash could have slapped him. Instead he held his
gaze, unwavering. Twist’s smile faded and he sighed. “Yer happy with the
others. Ya don’ need me.”

“i want to be happy
with you.”

Twist ran a hand over
his face, groaning. “Fuckin’ hell. Why’d ya have ta make everythin’ so
difficult, Patches?”

The temptation to
storm off again was almost irresistible. Cash’s confidence, and his patience
for this argument, were quickly crumbling. He sighed and pulled away from
Twist. “if you don’t feel the same way…”

“Woah, wait a minute.
Who told ya that?” Cash looked at him. “Alright, point taken. But ya know I
didn’ mean it.”

“no, i didn’t know
that! surprisingly enough.”

Twist hummed, looking
away for a moment. Then he turned back. “Fine. Fine. Okay.” He reached for Cash
and then drew back. Squeezed his sockets shut. Exhaled. “Fuck it.” He leaned in
and pressed their teeth together.

Cash held his breath.
His cheekbones burned when Twist caught his face with both hands, holding him
steady. He swiped his tongue over Cash’s teeth, seeking entrance. Cash froze,
inhaling, then slowly opened his mouth. He tasted Twist for the first time and
magic rushed into his mouth.

He quickly learned
that Twist wasn’t an idle kisser. He pulled Cash into his lap, wrapping his
arms around his waist and neck, cradling his skull and kissing him deeper. Cash
held onto him, mindless of how out in the open they were, or the damp grass
beneath them.

When at last Twist
broke the kiss, he was grinning. Cash swallowed, trying to ease himself out of
Twist’s lap, but Twist held onto him. Scowling, Cash stared at the ground over
Twist’s shoulder, avoiding his excited gaze. “so, is that a yes?” he muttered.

Twist leaned back,
lying down on the grass so that Cash was straddling him. Cash glared at him,
but Twist was beaming. He stroked Cash’s cheekbone and exhaled. “Sweetheart.
That’s a fuck yes.”

****

“… is this really
necessary?”

“Absolutely!” Twist
grinned proudly. “Ya picked all’ve us, so ya gotta sleep with all’ve us.”

Cash eyed the nest of
blankets and pillows spread across his living room floor. The furniture had
been pushed aside to make room for the makeshift bed. Edge and Stretch were
already tucked in comfortably in front of the fire, asleep, and Slim was
reading in his corner. “We’ll have ta invest in a bigger bed later,” Twist said
thoughtfully. “But this’ll do fer now.” He beamed at Cash. “Ya like?”

Grunting, Cash
shuffled beneath the covers beside Slim, who put his book down to kiss Cash’s
cheek. “just get in the bed, twisted,” Cash muttered.

Much to Cash’s
disgruntlement (and Slim’s amusement), Twist wedged himself between the two of
them, crushing them both in warm hugs. “‘Night, Patches,” he whispered, kissing
Cash deeply before shutting his eyes. Cash gave Slim a look, but Slim just
smiled, resting his head against Twist’s shoulder. He reached out and held
Cash’s hand on top of Twist’s chest, before closing his eyes.

Cash lay awake long
after the others had dozed off. He was tired, but his magic was alive, thrilled.
His gaze kept wandering over their little group, as if he had to savour this
moment. As if it might vanish in an instant. He glanced at Edge and Stretch.
Curled up in each other’s arms, peaceful, happy. Slim—comfortable, his fingers
still laced with Cash’s, his face kind, even in sleep.

And Twist. Cash
wondered if he was actually asleep this time. Even now, he was smiling. Cash
tucked his head against his chest. Twist stirred, and his arm slowly crept
around Cash’s shoulders. Closing his eyes, Cash went to sleep, contented.

Small announcement

Hey everyone, I know it’s been forever, but I’m hoping to get the Bonechelor finished off over the next couple of days. I’m sorry it’s been so long. Sadly, I just lost the drive for it (despite only having one chapter remaining. Yikes >_<). In case you need a refresher for the previous chapter(s), here’s the masterlist. I really am sorry it’s taken me so long.

The Bonechelor – Final Round

alicedragons:

Week 6: Sleeping Together

Yes, you read right! It is indeed the final round.
“But Alice,” you say, “there are still three contestants left! That means two more eliminations.”
Ah, you speak the truth. But Cash has decided to fuck the rules and do things his own way.
Also, here is a meme for your viewing pleasure:

But here we go, final round!

(Warning for mild NSFW. Nothing explicit, just suggestive.)

Don’t forget to vote for your Bonechelor Ending of choice at the end of the chapter!

🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀💀

Keep reading

I’ll be closing the poll in about a day, so last chance to vote! ^^

The Bonechelor – Masterpost

Cover Art (by @paintys-actual-art)

An organised list of all the chapters of The Bonechelor so far. I’ll update it each time I post a new chapter. You can also find it here on my blog if you’re on desktop.

Chapters:

Introduction

Round 1 – Group Dates
Round 1 Bone Ceremony

Round 2 – The Party
Round 2 Bone Ceremony

Round 3 – Truth or Dare
Round 3 Bone Ceremony

Round 4 – The Cruise
Round 4 Bone Ceremony

Round 5 – Camping
Round 5 Bone Ceremony

Final Round – Sleeping Together
Final Bone Ceremony

The Bonechelor – Final Round

alicedragons:

Week 6: Sleeping Together

Yes, you read right! It is indeed the final round.
“But Alice,” you say, “there are still three contestants left! That means two more eliminations.”
Ah, you speak the truth. But Cash has decided to fuck the rules and do things his own way.
Also, here is a meme for your viewing pleasure:

But here we go, final round!

(Warning for mild NSFW. Nothing explicit, just suggestive.)

Don’t forget to vote for your Bonechelor Ending of choice at the end of the chapter!

🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀💀

Keep reading

The Bonechelor – Final Round

Week 6: Sleeping Together

Yes, you read right! It is indeed the final round.
“But Alice,” you say, “there are still three contestants left! That means two more eliminations.”
Ah, you speak the truth. But Cash has decided to fuck the rules and do things his own way.
Also, here is a meme for your viewing pleasure:

But here we go, final round!

(Warning for mild NSFW. Nothing explicit, just suggestive.)

Don’t forget to vote for your Bonechelor Ending of choice at the end of the chapter!

🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀💀

“So, tanight ya have the Edgelord, tomorrow’s the
puppy, then—”

“and i’m expected to fuck all of them?”

Twist sighed and looked up from his clipboard. “Not
expected—encouraged.”

“we’re sharing a bed,” Cash remarked, flatly,
leaning back in his armchair. “that usually leads to some degree of… fondling.”
He cleared his throat, fidgeting. “do you think they’ll—want to…?” He scowled
at the carpet, cursing his blush.

“Sweetheart.” Twist squeezed his shoulder
affectionately. “Ya don’ have ta do anythin’ ya don’ wanna—ya know that, don’t
ya?”

“i know that,” Cash replied shortly. “but, do they…
want me?”

“Oh.” Twist blinked, then his features softened and
he grinned. “Can’t speak fer them, ‘a course, but I don’ think you’ll be short
on enthusiasm, if tha’s what yer worried about.”

Cash looked up at him. “what’s that supposed to
mean?” he asked, cautiously.

Twist winked and slipped his clipboard into his
inventory, standing. “Let’s jus’ say—yer not as unalluring as ya seem ta think,
Patches.”

Cash stared at him. He. He had heard correctly, hadn’t he? But this was Twist. Twist didn’t
flirt… Did he? “w-well,” Cash said quickly, scrambling for a change in topic.
“am i—am i really meant to—to have sex with all
of them? isn’t that…?” He swallowed back a niggle of guilt, thinking of Slim.

Twist considered him. “Yer worried about bein’
unfaithful?”

“i’m not dating any of them, so no,” Cash said, sniffing. “but… yes,” he
added, quietly.

“Aw, Patches,” Twist cooed, sitting on the edge of
his chair and slinging an arm around Cash’s shoulders. “Let’s not pretend yer
the only one with eyes—sorry, an eye—fer more than one person.”

Twist didn’t give Cash a chance to do much more
than gape before grinning and hopping off his chair. “Have fun, darlin’—and be
safe!” Cash watched him go, still trying to process what he’d said.

After showering, Cash rummaged through his closet
for his most pristine set of pyjamas—lavender spider silk, likely more
expensive than the wardrobes of every other person in the house combined. He
added a touch of bone cologne to his wrists, and double-checked his appearance
in the mirror before crossing the hall to Edge’s bedroom.

He was surprised to find Slim waiting for him
outside the door. A spike of guilt shot through him. Why did it feel as if he’d
been caught out? Slim knew what he was doing—and what he was likely to do as
the night progressed. So… why did this feel like a betrayal?

Slim observed him, tilting his head with a smile.
“you look awfully dashing for someone on their way to bed,” he remarked. Cash
grumbled a non-response and looked at the floor. “how are you feeling?” Slim
asked.

“normal,” Cash said, blandly.

Slim eyed Edge’s door. “that’s a pity. i think
edge’s standards are a little above ‘normal’.” When Cash didn’t respond, Slim
took his hand and squeezed it. “well. good luck.” He turned to walk away, but
Cash caught him by the sleeve, suddenly frantic.

“slim. is this…” He swallowed and grit his teeth.
“should i be doing this?”

“what?” Slim asked. “fucking edge?” Cash flushed
hotly and Slim grinned. “is that what you want to do?”

“i…” Cash considered. So distracted by his guilt,
he hadn’t actually considered whether or not he wanted this. He couldn’t deny his attraction to Edge—though he
figured that was about typical of anyone who’d spent more than ten minutes
around the guy.

“you know,” Slim said gently, intertwining their
fingers. “nothing you do in there will change how i feel about you.”

“are you giving me permission, then?” Cash asked.

“you don’t need my permission,” Slim said, rolling
his eye-lights. “this is your decision. don’t let me change it for you.”

“but…” Cash began, weakly. He took a long breath,
swallowing. “how am i supposed to pick one of you after…?”

Slim pressed his teeth together, grinning as if he
were trying not to laugh. “oh, patches,” he whispered, stepping close and
cupping Cash’s face. “who said you had to pick one?”

Cash opened Edge’s door with shaking hands and
burning cheekbones. He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, taking a deep
breath to try and steady his racing soul. From inside, heard voices—multiple voices. Frowning, he entered
the room to find Stretch sitting on the bed next to Edge. “oh,” Cash said,
freezing. “am i… interrupting something?”

“oh, don’t worry, love,” Stretch said. “i was just
keeping him warm for you.”

“No, you’re not interrupting anything,” Edge said
to Cash, sighing and casting Stretch a dark look.

“you’re… wearing glasses,” Cash noted, glancing
between the book in Edge’s hand, and the glasses taped to his skull.

“Yes,” Edge said, tightly. “As it so happens, I
enjoy being able to see the words on the pages I’m reading.”

Stretch cooed and pinched Edge’s chin. “aw, don’t
worry, cash. he’s just a little sensitive about his spectacles.”

“They’re not spectacles,”
Edge hissed, shoving Stretch’s hand away. “They’re reading glasses.”

“don’t worry, babe,” Stretch said. “they make you
look very sexy.” He glanced at Cash, smirking. “don’t you think so?”

“they’re… adequately pleasing to look at,” Cash
said, nodding. He could feel Edge watching him, his eyes searching, curious.
Was he… actually interested?

“see, precious?” Stretch said, turning back to
Edge. “you’re adequately pleasing to look at.”

“Flattered,” Edge said, still looking at Cash.
“Truly.” He placed his book on the nightstand and carefully removed his
glasses. “I’m afraid we’ll have to do without them for tonight. Now, why don’t
you get off the bed so Cash can join me?”

Magic settled in Cash’s mouth, and he swallowed it
back. Stretch cocked his head, pouting at Edge. “you don’t want me to stay?”

Edge sighed and gave him a lingering frown, then
looked at Cash. “It’s up to Cash.”

Cash opened his mouth, put on the spot. He was
thankful when Stretch broke in. “aw, don’t put that on him, love,” he scolded
Edge, gently. “it’s fine. i’ll go.”

“no.”

Edge and Stretch looked up at Cash. There was a
glint in Stretch’s eye, and he lifted a brow bone. “no?”

“you can stay,” Cash said. “i don’t mind.” In
truth, the prospect of being with both of them at once was a little less
intimidating than a one-on-one session with Edge. At worst, he’d be forced to
endure their bickering—but more likely, they might act as a buffer between him
and each other. Never mind that the idea of having both of them at once was…
intriguing. To say in the least.

Shifting aside, Stretch made room for Cash. “well,
come on then, love.”

Cash clambered over him—noting that he’d made space
between himself and Edge. He slid
beneath the covers next to Edge. The bed was a bit too small for the fit to be
anything less than cosy. Cash was wedged firmly between the two of them.

Stretch crawled under the covers beside him, and
his fingers brushed against Cash’s ribs. He and Edge shared a look over Cash,
then Edge turned and switched the light off. “Goodnight then,” he said, turning
on his side.

“what? that’s it?” Cash asked, deflating a little.

Edge looked at him, his eye-lights narrow in the
darkness. “What? Do you want a goodnight kiss?”

“well—no.”

“i think he does,” Stretch murmured—suddenly very
close behind Cash.

“Oh. Do you?” Edge asked, his voice subtly sultry.

“no…” Cash said, his voice wavering with
uncertainty.

“Hm. Pity.”

Cash was almost tempted to withdraw his refusal.
Edge’s eye-lights were on him, piercing red in the dim lighting. Swallowing,
Cash turned over, only to find himself facing Stretch instead. He couldn’t
decide whether or not he’d preferred looking at Edge. Stretch always looked a
little too… self-satisfied for his peace of mind.

“so you don’t want him to kiss you goodnight,”
Stretch said softly. “does that extend to me?”

Cash could feel charged magic in the air—warmth,
and energy. He watched Stretch without a word, itching to reach out and touch
him. Behind him, Edge sighed. “Behave yourself, Stretch,” he chided. “He’s said
he doesn’t want that.”

“no,” Cash whispered. “no… don’t behave yourself,
stretch.” Stretch’s smile slipped briefly, sockets widening with surprise. Cash
reached out slowly and found Stretch’s wrist. He closed his fingers around it
and guided Stretch’s hand to his waist.

“cash? love? do you—?”

“Cash,” Edge said firmly, resting a hand on his
shoulder. “You know we don’t expect anything of you. We’re not trying to guilt
you into anything. You don’t have to do this.”

Cash closed his eyes, his thoughts wandering back
to Twist’s words. ‘It’s yer game, Patches. No one
said ya had ta play by the rules.’ Throughout
the competition, Cash had been operating under the assumption that his choice
would be limited to one person…

‘who
said you had to pick one?’

Having Slim’s reassurance grew Cash’s confidence.
He was allowed to do this. He was allowed to want this. He didn’t have to limit himself.

Resolved, Cash caught Stretch behind the neck and
drew him in, kissing him. He swallowed Stretch’s surprised gasp and pressed
into him. Breaking away, he glanced at Edge over his shoulder, who was looking
just as stunned as Stretch. “i don’t want this to stop,” Cash said, determined.
“i want this.”

Slim glanced up as Cash slid into the bed beside
him. “you’re late,” he commented.

“am not,” Cash replied. He certainly hadn’t spent
half an hour trying to decide how he ought to dress for this. He didn’t want
to overdo it but he also didn’t want to underdo it and did Slim like cologne
was that a touch too much did he smell okay was he—

“so, how were they?” Slim asked, interrupting
Cash’s train wreck of thoughts.

Cash glanced at Slim. He was smiling pleasantly,
but amusement twitched at the corners of his mouth. “they were fine,” he said
at last.

“just fine?”

“what? you want details?” Cash asked snidely. Slim
flushed and glanced away, shrugging. “if you really want to know, then you
should go ask edge and stretch.”

“ask them for what? a demonstration?” Mischief
sparkled in Slim’s eye-lights, and Cash gave him a cold look before switching
the lamp off and pulling the covers to his chin. “well,” Slim whispered, his
face now hidden in darkness. “i suppose i have you for… necessary
demonstrations.”

Slim spoke the last part so quietly, Cash almost
thought he’d misheard. The seconds passed and Slim was silent. Cash could hear
him fidgeting. Slowly, he turned over, facing him through the darkness of the
room. Swallowing, he murmured, “is that what you want?”

Slim froze, staring at Cash. “i—” His eye-lights
were bright, burning. But he’d drawn in on himself. He looked anxious. “i don’t
know.”

Cash tried not to let the hurt show on his face. He
must not have done a very good job of it, though, because Slim quickly slipped
his hand into Cash’s. “what are you doing?” Cash asked, tensing.

Slim fiddled with Cash’s fingers, avoiding his eye.
“do you not want this?” he asked softly.

Cash watched him, breathing slowly, steadily,
trying to counteract the shaking of his bones. Carefully, he pulled his hand
from Slim’s grip. Dejection flickered across Slim’s face. Cash closed his eye
and inhaled—then pressed himself into Slim and kissed him.

Slim’s breath caught—but he didn’t try to pull
away. He melted into Cash and gradually returned the kiss, his fingers brushing
Cash’s cheekbone. Hastily, Cash pulled away, staring at Slim, breathless. “i—i
had to do that before i could talk myself out of it,” he stammered.

“right…” Slim nodded, already leaning back in. He
caught Cash around the back of his neck and kissed him deeply. A rush of magic
flowed through Cash’s bones, spreading warmth. He sighed and sunk into Slim,
savouring the taste of him on his tongue.

Slim’s hands wandered the back of his neck and
spine. He smoothed his thumb over Cash’s jaw, cupping his face tenderly. Cash’s
hands remained at his sides. He felt nervous—uncertain of himself. Did he dare
touch Slim? Did Slim really want this?

Cash was beginning to grow stiff and unsure of
himself when Slim grasped his hand and moved it to his hip.

Oh.

The encouragement provided Cash with a small burst
of confidence. He began to run his hands over Slim, feeling the different parts
of his body. He sighed into Slim’s mouth as Slim pressed the tips of his
fingers into the sensitive cartilage between his vertebrae. Feeling surer of
himself, Cash slipped his hand beneath Slim’s shirt and gently pinched one of
his floating ribs. It was rough beneath his fingers—scarred, but delicate. He
pressed himself deeper into Slim’s hold, craving more.

His breath caught when Slim pushed him onto his
back and climbed on top of him. He kissed Cash deeply then sat up, grinning
down at him. “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that,” he said.

Stunned, Cash gaped up at him. “h-how long?”

“too long,” Slim purred, grinding into him, then
dipping to kiss him again. He worked his way down Cash’s jaw, then latched onto
his neck. Cash held a hand over his mouth as Slim dragged their hips together,
stifling a soft whimper. Slim caught his hand and pried it away. “you think i
waited this long just to have you try and hide those noises from me?”

Cash stared at him, too bewildered for words. Slim
smiled and stroked his cheekbone before ducking to nibble at his neck. He
pulled Cash’s legs around his waist and pressed their hips together. Cash felt
warmth at Slim’s pelvis and went still, surprised. “you… want me?” he asked,
his voice brittle.

Slim drew back and gave him a loose smile—the look
he got when he was trying not to laugh. “of course i want you,” he said,
lightly. “i’m certainly not grinding on you as a display of revulsion.” He
studied Cash, his smile withering a little. “do you… want me?”

Yes.
Cash swallowed and squirmed
uncomfortably beneath Slim. “i—” He caught Slim’s face between his hands and
tried to kiss him again, but Slim pulled back, looking at him intently.

“pa—cash. i’m serious. i need you to tell me if you
want this.”

“… yes.”

“you don’t sound so sure,” Slim said, his
expression darkening.

Cash chewed his tongue, averting his gaze. “i don’t
know.”

“are we moving too fast?” Slim asked.

“no.”

Slim held his face and turned his skull, meeting
his eye. “is it… because of twist?”

Cash froze. He stared at Slim, searching for the
joke—the ridiculous punchline—but Slim was earnest. “w—why are you bringing up
twist in a time like this?” he asked, irritably.

“this is a good time to bring him up,” Slim said,
gently.

The warmth in Cash’s bones had made way for an
itch—a frustrating itch he desperately wanted to scratch but also wanted to
ignore. He pushed Slim off him and turned on his side, facing away from him.
“i’m tired. goodnight.”

“cash…”

“goodnight. slim.”

For a couple of minutes, Slim was silent. Cash
tried to ignore him, but he could hear his soft breaths—and feel the lingering
warmth of his magic in the atmosphere around him. He felt Slim place a hand on
his shoulder, and remained still, stubbornly refusing to look at him. “i’m
sorry,” Slim murmured softly. When Cash said nothing, he sighed. “cash… do you
know where i found twist last night?”

Cash grit his teeth. “don’t care.”

“he slept in your room.”

Cash shut his sockets, his soul twinging. He
inhaled shakily. “i hope you kicked that bastard out when you found him,” he
said, his voice thick.

“patches…”

“don’t call me that,” Cash snapped.

“cash.” Cautiously, Slim inched closer to Cash.
When Cash made no protest, he pressed himself against his back, nuzzling his
face against his neck. Cash accepted the contact… reluctantly. Never mind
that it felt incredible to feel wanted.
“twist cares about you, you know. a lot.”

Cash scoffed. “he certainly cares about humiliating
me.”

“twist does have… an interesting way of showing
affection,” Slim admitted. “but…” He looped his arms around Cash’s waist and
leaned into him. “do you feel humiliated?”

“what on earth are you…?”

“or, do you feel happy?”

The words hung heavily in the silence. Slim fell
asleep with his arms around Cash, but it was long before Cash followed.
Conflicting thoughts warred in his head, keeping him awake, agitated. Slowly,
he managed to find sleep, struggling not to think of Twist.

By the following evening, Cash had come to a
decision.

He didn’t bother showering, and pulled on a pair of
old sweatpants and a loose tank top. Gathering himself, he marched into Twist’s
room.

Twist glanced up from his bed, brow bone going up.
“Heya, Patches. What’re ya doin’ here?” he asked, puzzled. “Elimination isn’
‘til tomorrow.”

Cash didn’t answer. He climbed into the bed beside
Twist and tugged the covers up, wishing him goodnight. He could feel Twist
staring at him, even after he’d closed his eye. “Uh. Ya know… sleepin’ in a bed
with me wasn’ part of the round,” Twist said, sounding uncertain.

“i know that,” Cash snapped, keeping his socket
firmly closed. “just. shut up and go to sleep, twisted.”

Twist was still, and quiet for a change. Part of
Cash wondered if he was going to protest. Then the covers rustled and the light
clicked, sending the room into darkness. Cash felt the mattress sinking as
Twist lay down beneath the covers beside him. “’Night, Patches,” he said,
quietly.

Cash lay on his back, staring blankly at the
ceiling. Breathing steadily, he counted backwards from ten—then he turned and
rested his head against Twist’s shoulder. His soul pumped frantically, dread
and excitement and regret all rushing through him at once.

Twist didn’t say a word. Then, cautiously, he
shifted closer to Cash, and slowly placed an arm around him. Relief flooded
Cash, and he sunk deeper into Twist’s embrace.

His mind wandered to the elimination tomorrow, and
he reconsidered Twist’s words. ‘No one
said ya had ta play by the rules.’ For once, Cash wasn’t dreading the
ceremony. He’d made his decision.

How will The Bonechelor end? VOTE HERE.

Next Bonechelor chapter is in the works!

I’ve finally made time to plan out the next chapter, and it’s underway. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated. Granted everything goes smoothly, I should have it out within a few days. Things are coming to a climax. ~~In more than one sense of the word.~~

Thank you all for your patience!

The Bonechelor – Round 5 Bone Ceremony

Round 5 (previous)

Ah, camping. There’s nothing better than a trip to the mountains. Sleeping in icy cold weather with nothing but the thin walls of a tent and a flimsy sleeping back to keep you cozy–who could ask for more? And what better way to end off the trip than another elimination!

Refreshed and revived, Cash now has a difficult choice to make. Will it all end in heartbreak? Let’s see.

🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀💀

The drive back wasn’t
nearly as peaceful as the drive there had been. Cash found it difficult to
appreciate the sprawling fields and green mountains when his soul felt heavy
with guilt. He was thankful that Twist had at least scheduled the elimination for
after their return. Cash wasn’t sure he’d have been able to endure a five-hour
car ride back with everyone after the ceremony.

Although the trip was
uncomfortable, it felt far too short. Cash had fallen asleep in the back seat
with Stretch after Edge had volunteered to drive. He was awoken by the familiar
grind of gravel beneath the car’s tyres. He slowly opened his socket to find
the car pulling up in front of the manor. Though home was normally where Cash
felt most comfortable, there was no place he’d less like to be right now.

The ceremony was
delayed further to give everyone time to unpack and shower after the cramped
car ride. Cash gathered his belongings from the trunk and headed inside. He was
stopped at the foot of the stairs by a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Patches,”
Twist said, turning him around. “You alright?” There was a note of worry to his
tone. For Twist to be expressing concern, Cash’s troubles must have been more
obvious than he’d thought.

“fine,” he said, his
voice flat. Twist lifted a brow bone and Cash shook his hand off. “gonna
shower.” He hurried up the stairs without waiting for a response.

All too soon, he was
coming back down. The four remaining contestants were awaiting him in the front
hall, Twist hovering at the foot of the stairs. For once, he didn’t look
excited. That alone was enough to sink Cash’s spirits somehow further. “Ready?”
Twist asked, squeezing his arm when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

Cash eyed Edge,
Stretch, Slim, and Papyrus, and swallowed. As always, they looked far too
cheerful (Edge aside, perhaps). Cash hated this. “i guess,” he muttered,
summoning the first bone.

No one looked
surprised when he handed it to Slim—though he did so with a twisting nausea in
his chest. Slim accepted it with a smile—a smile that might have made Cash’s
soul flutter under normal circumstances, but right now, it only deepened his
guilt. Slim joined Twist, who tucked him under his arm. Cash’s gaze lingered on
them for a few moments; there was a warm affection in the way Twist held Slim,
as if he was… comforting him.

Twist gave Cash a nod
of reassurance and Cash tore his gaze away, shutting his socket. He held it
closed for a few seconds, breathing slowly. Knowing he was only delaying the
inevitable heartbreak, he summoned two bones at once and handed them to Stretch
and Edge.

There was a ringing
silence in his ear canals. He was certain everyone had been anticipating it,
but now that he’d done it, he felt ashamed. He turned slowly to face Papyrus.
He was smiling—because of course he
was smiling. “pap…” The word barely left his mouth, half a choked whisper. “i’m
sorry.”

Papyrus approached
him, still smiling. Cash could feel the others watching them. He wanted to melt
into the marble floor tiles. “Wealthy M—Cash.” Papyrus’ voice was soft and
kind. He tilted Cash’s chin and met his eye, looking earnest. “May I?” he
asked, opening his arms in offering. Stiffly, Cash nodded, and Papyrus hugged
him. “It’s okay,” Papyrus whispered, stroking Cash’s spine and cradling his
skull. “I know you’ll be happy. That’s all I want.”

Cash couldn’t reply.
He couldn’t think of anything to say. Nothing seemed right. So, he just… leaned
into Papyrus’ arms. He let himself be held. Papyrus was projecting—comfort,
affection, compassion—and Cash soaked it in. He wasn’t sure if he deserved it,
but for just a moment, he let himself have it.

****

Cash made no protest
when Twist lay down beside him on the bed. He was staring at the ceiling,
flicking his lighter on and off and watching the flame shudder in the wind let
in by the open window. He had a self-imposed rule against smoking in his own
bedroom. He normally didn’t mind the smell, but it wasn’t the type of thing he
liked waking up to in the morning. At the present, watching the flame of his
lighter seemed like the next best thing.

He felt Twist
shuffling across the mattress to get closer to him, but he didn’t chastise him
for it, as he normally might have. “Three left,” Twist remarked, and Cash
hummed his acknowledgement but didn’t reply. He could feel the yellow of
Twist’s eye-light on him. “Ya lookin’ forward ta the next round?”

Cash paused his
flicking to give Twist a deadpan look. “has the answer to that question ever
been yes?” he asked, dryly.

Twist chuckled. “Think
you’ll like this one.”

“forgive my lack of
faith in your judgement on the matter.”

Propping himself up on
his elbow, Twist leaned in—his face almost intimately close. “Figured I’d heat
things up a little after that cold trip to the mountains.”

That was ominous. Cash
frowned, mistrustful. “meaning…?”

Twist was already
climbing off the bed. He shot Cash a wink when he reached the door. “Since
we’ve narrowed it down ta three, I figured we could spice things up a bit,
y’know? Three’s not too many for ya, is it? What’s the number before ya start
considerin’ yerself promiscuous?”

“promiscuous?” Cash
echoed, startled. Realisation slowly dawned on him, and he gaped. “twisted—are
you going to make me—?”

“Not gonna make ya do
anythin’, sweetheart,” Twist assured him. “I’ll only be providin’ encouragement.
And snacks.”

Cash closed his eye
and inhaled, swallowing back his barrage of retorts. “and… how am i supposed to
pick one, if i’ve…?” He made a
gesture that extracted a snicker from Twist.

Winking, he said, “Hey,
it’s yer game, Patches. No one said ya had ta play by the rules.”

The Bonechelor Round 5

Round 4 Bone Ceremony (previous)

Round 5 Bone Ceremony (next)

Week 5: Camping

(Still in the middle of exams, but I took a break to write this chapter. It ended up going for wayyyy longer than I intended!)

What better way to bond than a ~~couples’~~ getaway to the mountains? A spontaneous camping trip–organised by no other than the ever-creative host–yields some very… interesting moments. How will Cash handle the daunting task of sharing a tent with the remaining contestants? Let’s see!

Don’t forget to vote for this week’s elimination at the end of the chapter!

🌸🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀

The open road
stretched for miles ahead, weaving into the mountains that loomed on the horizon.
Though heavy grey clouds blanketed the sky, slivers of sunlight glanced off the
snow-capped hills in the distance.

Cash could smell pine
and heather in the air outside his rolled-down window. He leaned on his elbow
against the frame as he drove, enjoying the rush of wind. He could see Stretch
asleep on Edge’s shoulder in the car’s rear-view mirror, and behind them, Slim
and Papyrus, talking quietly. The moment of peace was almost enough to dispel
any thoughts of the impending trial ahead of him.

He glanced at Twist,
who was sitting in the passenger seat beside him. “feet off my dashboard,
twisted,” he chided softly, so as not to wake Stretch or Edge. Twist eyed him
with a smirk before dropping his feet to the floor. Cash focused on the road,
but he could feel Twist watching him. “no. not talking about it,” he said, when
Twist opened his mouth.

Twist raised his hands
in surrender and shut his mouth, leaning back. Cash breathed internally,
relieved—if not surprised—that Twist wasn’t pushing him. He rolled up his
window at the sudden icy spit of rain on his ulna. The downpour started
quickly, and soon they were driving with the headlights on and the windscreen
wipers at full speed, the road ahead blurred by sheets of rain. Cash didn’t
mind rain normally, but the knowledge that they’d be spending the next couple
of nights in tents dampened his spirits.

“Guess tha’s a no ta
roastin’ marshmallows,” Twist said, sounding genuinely glum.

“you don’t even eat
marshmallows,” Cash pointed out.

“Doesn’ mean I can’
appreciate the fine art a’ gettin’ ‘em perfectly crispy,” Twist replied,
crossing his arms. “Plus—” he winked “—sticky fingers ‘re always fun.”

Cash very nearly
contemplated pulling over to slap him.

Blessedly, the rain
had stopped when they reached their campsite, which was unsurprisingly empty—given
that it was the middle of the week. And freezing cold. The grass was thick,
crunching beneath Cash’s sneakers as he climbed out of the car. He could feel
the oozing mud beneath it, and grimaced. “you pitching the tents?” he asked
Twist.

“Though’ we could do
it together,” Twist said, grinning.

Cash scowled. The
others were already pulling their camping gear from the back of the truck, with
an off-putting degree of enthusiasm. “i’m good,” Cash said, flatly. He shivered
as the icy wind picked up, passing straight through his ribcage. Twist observed
him with a tilt of his head.

“Aw, cold,
sweetheart?”

“well, yeah, a
little—”

“A bit a’ movin’
around should warm ya righ’ up!” he said, throwing an arm around Cash’s shoulders
and leading him to the back of the truck. “Help me pitch our tent?”

“i don’t even know how
to—wait, did you say our tent?”

“Yeah! Well—fer
tonight. Tomorrow yer with Edgy and the honey drop. Day after’s Papy and the
puppy.” Twist grinned, clearly pleased with his orchestration. “Excited?”

“twist. look at my
face—very hard—and tell me if i’m
excited.”

Unsurprisingly, Twist
didn’t quite catch on to Cash’s disgruntlement at the sleeping arrangements. It
started to rain later in the evening, driving them all into their tents early.
Truthfully, Cash didn’t mind. The day of driving had worn him out (as had
Twist’s tent-pitching lesson) and sleep was a welcome activity. And—had it not
been for Twist’s near-naked state when Cash entered the tent—sleep might even
have been achievable.

“twist—fuck!” Cash
made a noise he would not have been proud of under typical circumstances. But
given the sight of Twist’s bare bones, the cogs of his mind were a little
jammed. “put—put some damn clothes on!”

Twist turned around,
and Cash slapped a hand over his eye socket. “Aw, Patches, there’s no need fer
that—I don’ mind if ya see me naked.”

“i mind,” Cash said, exasperated.

“Ah.” Twist didn’t
sound embarrassed, but there was a sheepish note to his tone. “Gotcha. Pyjamas
‘re goin’ back on.”

“back on? why didn’t they stay
on in the first place?”

“Hey, I like sleepin’
bare boned. Gives me more freedom.”

Cash inhaled through
his nasal aperture, then exhaled slowly between his teeth. “we’re sharing. a
mattress. twist.”

“Alrigh’, alrigh’, I
hear ya. Clothes ‘re back on.”

Cash cracked open his
socket in time to see Twist pulling his shirt over his head. He caught a
glimpse of the scars and lashes across his back, and glanced away; it felt
somehow more personal seeing Twist’s scars than it did seeing his entire bare
pelvis.

Once they were both
dressed (Twist very respectfully looked away while Cash changed), they climbed
into their sleeping bags on the inflatable mattress. “this thing is waterproof,
right?” Cash asked, eyeing the tent walls, which shuddered beneath the heavy
rain.

“Uh… hm. Didn’ check
actually.” Twist grinned, scratching the back of his skull. “Yes?”

Cash cast him a sharp
glance before turning onto his side, facing away from him. He felt the mattress
shift beneath Twist’s weight as he shifted beside him, moving closer. “… what
are you doing, twisted?”

“Yer shiverin’,” Twist
remarked.

Cash grimaced and
wrapped his arms tighter around himself, trying to snuggle deeper into his
sleeping bag. “no, i’m not.”

“I can hear yer rattlin’
bones, sweetheart.”

Cash huffed. “so
what?”

“Well, body heat does
wonders fer—”

“fuck off, twist. let
me sleep.”

Twist was silent for a
few seconds before conceding. “Fine. Bu’ don’ go freezin’ ta death. The others
would be very disappointed if we had ta end the contest early.”

Cash had to bury his
surprised laugh in his sleeve, trying to pass it off as a cough. “’night,
twisted.”

“Love ya too,
Patches.”

****

“are you fucking with
me? hiking?”

Twist beamed. “Hell
yeah. Great group activity.”

“twisted, it’s
raining.” Cash scowled, glancing outside at the downpour. They’d managed to set
up a tarp for shelter—and thankfully, the tents had proven to be waterproof
(though Stretch had still complained about ‘getting wet’ last night, and had
earned himself a smack on the shoulder from Edge).

“As much as I enjoy
hiking, Twist, I’m afraid I’m with Cash on this one,” Edge said. “Drenching
myself in mud is not a good use of my time.”

“Nor mine,” Papyrus
agreed. “And I don’t think it would be good for the health of Small Me.” He
eyed Slim sympathetically. “He didn’t sleep very well last night.” When they
all stared at him in shock, he tutted, adding, “Not for the crude reasons Lazy
Me has been insinuating—he couldn’t keep warm.”

“and you didn’t offer
any assistance?” Stretch asked, the corner of his mouth curling up.

Papyrus drew his
shoulders up, sniffing. “Of course I offered! Body heat does wonders for
staving off the cold.” Twist nudged Cash, giving him a deliberate look, and
Cash rolled his eye-light. “Small Me was simply… not in the mood for cuddling.”
Papyrus spoke with poise, but Cash could almost detect a hint of hurt in his
tone. Slim had his head bowed and his arms around himself, as if trying to make
himself very small.

Silence fell over the
group—and not an entirely comfortable silence. Cash fiddled with his lighter in
his coat pocket, itching for a cigarette but knowing he’d be heavily chastised
for it by at least half the company present. He was grateful when Twist spoke
up, declaring that they ought to get started on breakfast. There was quick
consensus on the decision.

The downpour of rain had
slowed to a drizzle by late afternoon, and when dinner rolled around, the sky
was clear and starry. While Papyrus and Edge got a fire going, Twist, Slim, and
Stretch retrieved the camping chairs from the back of the truck. “Yer in charge
a’ the marshmallows,” Twist told Cash, to which Cash responded with a rude
gesture that Twist turned around just in time to miss.

When Cash returned
with the marshmallows and adequately long sticks to roast them with, the fire
was crackling and the chairs were set out. Only…

“Huh. We seem ta be
short a chair,” Twist said, surveying the set up thoughtfully.

“I’ll stand,” Edge
offered, getting up.

“No, no.” Twist waved
him off. “Don’ worry ‘bout that. No one has ta stand. Someone’ll just have ta
sit in someone’s lap.” The group fell silent, and Twist looked exasperated.
“What? No volunteers?”

“i nominate the
bachelor,” Stretch said, and Cash shot him a glare. Twist seemed pleased with
the idea however, clapping his hands together.

“Ah, perfect! You c’n
alternate, Patches. Give everyone a fair chance.”

“what? no,” Cash exclaimed, horrified. He
glanced over the group frantically. “why me?”

“you’re the bachelor,”
Stretch reminded him.

“yes, thank you, dick,” Cash snapped at him,
irritably. Stretch shrugged and leaned back in his chair, unperturbed.
“twisted—you’re not actually going to force me to do this are you?”

“Aw, ‘course not,
sweetheart.” Twist stood up and circled the campfire to squeeze Cash’s
shoulders. “You c’n have my chair.”

Cash blinked. “wait,
that’s not what i—”

“Twisted Me! How
presumptuous of you.” Papyrus stood up too, sighing laboriously. “As the
greatest of Papyruses present—no offence intended—it would be my honour to
accept the standing role.”

“pap,” Cash said,
shaking his head, “you really don’t have to—”

“Oh, come now,” Edge
said, sighing. He too, got up, standing beside Twist and Papyrus and regarding
them with a look some might have deemed condescending. “As the one with the
most combat training—and prowess—I ought to stand. If we were to be attacked, I
would make the best first line of defence.”

Stretch snorted,
earning himself a glare from Edge. Twist was shaking his head though,
chuckling. He patted Edge’s arm, giving him a look one might give a child when
teaching them a new life lesson. “Aw. Precious. Yer great. But… c’mon.” He
indicated himself sweepingly. “’m more durable fer one.”

Edge scoffed, drawing
himself up. “And what does that have to do with competence?”

Twist snickered and
cast a wink in Cash’s direction. “A whole lot. Lemme tell ya.”

Stretch and Slim were
both trying to stifle their laughter, while Edge and Papyrus just looked
frustrated. Patience diminishing, Cash said, “alright—for fuck’s sake! you’re
both great fighters—”

“Wasn’ talkin’ abou’
fightin’, Patches.”

“—i’ll just sit on
someone’s bloody lap,” Cash finished, ignoring Twist’s wise quip. He marched
over to Stretch. “and since you’re the asshole who suggested it, you get to
have me first.”

Stretch winced a
little as Cash plopped himself down heavily, but laughed nonetheless, leaning
forward to wrap his arms around Cash’s waist. “i’ll gladly have you first,
love.”

By some miracle, the
remainder of the evening passed without event—other than Cash’s constant
lap-switching, that is. It was only when Twist pointed out that Slim was dozing
(one of his arms still looped casually around Cash’s waist) that they decided
to call it a night. Cash awkwardly shook Slim awake, and couldn’t help but mirror
the blush that spread across Slim’s face upon realising he’d fallen asleep with
Cash in his lap.

After clearing up the
chairs and extinguishing the remaining embers of the fire (an act that had
earned raised brow bones from the two Tale-verse monsters), they all headed for
their respective tents. Cash hesitated outside Edge and Stretch’s tent,
glancing at Twist. “are you… going to be okay by yourself?” he asked,
uncharacteristically concerned for the big idiot.

Twist faltered briefly
before responding, his smile easy and relaxed. “Yeah. ‘Course. Sleep tight,
Patches.” He winked. “An’ don’ be afraid ta have a little fun.”

“ugh.” Cash shot Twist
his middle finger before ducking into Edge and Stretch’s tent. It was dark, but
he could see them already lying side-by-side on the bed. “there isn’t going to
be any…” He gestured vaguely. “tent fucking, is there?”

“well, so much for
subtlety,” Stretch said, while Edge’s blush glowed through the darkness.
“and—no.”

Cash shrugged,
slipping off his jacket and pulling his pyjamas out of the travel pack in his
inventory. “was there any last night?”

Silence.

“…no?” Stretch sounded
less confident.

“fucking brilliant,”
Cash grumbled as he changed.

“well. yeah.”

“For fuck’s sake!”
Edge cried, burying his face in his hands.

“yeah—that’s what
we’re talking about, love,” Stretch murmured, prying his hands away from his
face.

Edge pulled away from
him and sighed, burrowing deeper into his sleeping bag. “Goodnight. Both of
you. I will kindly ask that there isn’t any sexual intercourse while I’m
asleep.”

“we’ll wake you up for
that,” Cash muttered. Stretch grinned at him, while Edge shot him his middle
finger.

Huh. Cash wasn’t
normally the one on the receiving end of those gestures.

When dressed, he
hovered awkwardly beside the mattress, unsure where his place was in all this.
As if reading his mind, Stretch scooched aside, making room. “you’re in the
middle, sweetheart,” he said, smiling.

Cash paused, still
uncertain. “i… don’t know if…”

“keep us honest,”
Stretch said.

“I don’t think there’s
anything that can keep you honest,” Edge mumbled from somewhere in his sleeping
bag.

Stretch grinned, his
cheekbones brightening. “he’s right, but your effort will be appreciated.”

With some difficulty,
Cash managed to clamber over Stretch, wedging himself between him and Edge at
the centre of the mattress. He pulled his sleeping bag out and zipped it right
up to his shoulders, cursing his shaking bones. Clearly, he wasn’t built for
the cold.

“If you keep rattling
like that, I’m not going to get a wink of sleep,” Edge complained.

Cash scowled at his
back, trying to hold himself tighter. “you think i’m doing it on purpose,
twat?” He startled when Stretch shifted up behind him, pressing into his back.

“need some body heat?”

Cash might have
protested, only… Stretch was awfully warm. And that ever-present aura of
Tale-verse sweetness was doing wonders for Cash’s lingering doubts about his
intrusiveness. “maybe a little,” he muttered, relinquishing. Stretch hummed and
snuggled closer. “not that much,” Cash warned, and Stretch chuckled, drawing
back.

“got it. hey—edgelord?
you gonna help keep our bachelor warm?”

“You seem to be
managing just fine,” Edge mumbled. Cash detected a note of dejection in his
voice, and frowned.

“i’m, uh, still a
little cold actually,” he said, stiffly. “i could use the extra body.”

Edge’s put-upon sigh
echoed in the stillness of the tent, but he turned over. His expression
betrayed little, but Cash caught him eyeing Stretch. He shuffled closer and
sandwiched Cash between himself and Stretch. “I suppose I could spare a little
heat,” he mumbled.

“you always were the
giving type,” Stretch said, a smirk in his voice.

“And it’s nothing but
taking with you,” Edge retorted, though not without amusement.

Cash listened to them
bicker good-naturedly for a few minutes before dozing off—but not before he
felt their hands linking together across him. And strangely, Cash didn’t feel
like an intruder—but rather, an honoured guest, graced with the opportunity to
share one of their most intimate moments.

He slept well that
night.

****

One drawback of the
rainy period of their getaway ending, was that there was nothing more stopping
Twist from insisting that everyone
join him on his hike. His 7am hike. Though sleeping between Edge and Stretch
all night had been comfortable, Cash was very disgruntled at being shaken awake
by an all-too-energetic Twist at six in the morning.

And perhaps more
infuriating, was the fact that Stretch somehow managed to wheedle his way out
of going—Cash had no such luck. “Yer the bachelor, it’s compulsory!” Twist told
him, clapping him on the back enthusiastically. “C’mon, you’ll have fun.
Promise.”

“i think it’s long
been established that you and i have very different definitions of fun,
twisted,” Cash groused as they trudged towards the hiking path.

The morning was crisp
and chilly, and Cash had bundled himself in as many layers as he could scavenge
from the others, his own wardrobe designed for appearance rather than comfort.
He was still shivering, despite the warm sunlight that glanced off the
snow-kissed grass. Twist was a little too energetic for him to keep up with, so
he fell behind, ending up with Slim, who was also having difficulty matching
the paces of the three more athletic skeletons. He smiled at Cash and they
walked in silence.

When Cash’s bones
began to warm up, the walk gradually grew pleasant. The mountain they were
heading up was one of the smaller ones (Twist had been eager to tackle the biggest one—but even Papyrus had refused
to partake in such an expedition). The mountain’s slopes were coated in
heather, which swayed in the wind, and the stiff grass crunched beneath their
feet as they walked, a satisfying sound to fill the silence.

They reached the top
of the mountain before midday, by which time Cash’s bones and feet were aching.
“we have to go back down, too?” he whined, slumping back onto the bench at the
lookout point. “can’t we just teleport back?”

“Maybe if Stretch were
here,” Twist said, “but I don’ think you or the puppy can handle teleportin’
two people at once over such a long distance.”

“i am going to murder
that lazy bastard when we get back,” Cash grumbled beneath his breath. He
couldn’t argue with the point though—Slim was looking just about as worn out as
he was feeling. “fine. but i’m resting first. do we have any snacks?”

Twist rummaged in his
inventory and handed Cash a bottle. “Sea tea!”

Cash eyed it, reading
the label carefully. “isn’t this the one that you use for…?”

“It—” Twist’s eye
sockets widened and he quickly snatched the bottle away. “Ha. Woops! Have this
one instead.” He considered after handing Cash the correct bottle, glancing at
Slim. “Although… ya might wanna keep the other one too. Y’know? Fer later
tonight?” He lifted a brow bone suggestively, and Cash pulled a face, gulping down
the regular Sea Tea.

“i’m good.”

“Ya sure?” Twist
looked dubious. “’Cause if yer stamina in the bedroom—or the tent, in this
case—is anythin’ like yer hikin’ stamina, then—”

“i’m not fucking anyone,
twisted!” Cash snapped, so loudly, Edge and Papyrus glanced at him from where
they were standing on the ledge some twenty feet away. Cash scowled and slumped
in his seat, sipping at the tea. He inhaled as the fresh magic flowed through
him, restoring some of the mana he’d lost in the hike.

He glanced at Slim, surprised
to see that his cheekbones were glowing a light amber. “uh… sea tea?” he
offered, feeling awkward.

Slim took the bottle
and sipped at it, thanking Cash quietly while averting his eye-lights. Why was
he…? Oh—stars. Had it been the fucking thing? Was he that repelled by the idea?
Or…

Was he actually disappointed that Cash had said
they wouldn’t be fucking? Had he been expecting it? Did he think Cash had been
doing that with Stretch and Edge? Had… had he and Papyrus been—?

Cash swallowed back
the magic that had begun to pool in his mandible, cursing Twist and his damn
sea tea.

The hike back was
significantly quicker than the hike up had been—a mixture of both the sea tea
and the downhill trek. Irritatingly, Stretch was napping in his tent when they
arrived back at the campsite. Cash was jealous. Then again…

He thought back to
Slim. Maybe the hike hadn’t been a complete misuse of time.

By the time night
came, the effects of the sea tea had worn off, and Cash was feeling tired. He
announced that he’d be heading to bed early, and thankfully, no one protested,
not even Twist (by some miracle). Cash had just climbed into his sleeping bag
in Slim and Papyrus’ tent when the zip opened and Slim climbed in. “thought i’d
make it an early night too,” he said, smiling.

Cash only nodded,
watching him as he stripped off his jacket and numerable other layers. He only
realised he’d been staring when Slim cleared his throat. “mind, uh, not
looking?” Slim sounded almost regretful, as if he’d rather Cash—

Nope. No.
That was definitely Cash’s imagination. He quickly nodded and averted his gaze,
looking up again only when he felt Slim settling onto the mattress beside him.
They lay in silence for a few long minutes, neither of them finding the right
words to break it. Eventually, Slim rolled onto his side away from Cash. “well.
‘night,” he murmured.

“yeah—uh. goodnight,”
Cash replied. Sleep seemed far beyond him now, his mind suddenly alive and
enthusiastic. He turned over and cradled himself, muttering a curse when his
bones started rattling again from cold.

It took him a few
minutes to realise that he wasn’t the only one shivering. The quiet clicking of
Slim’s bones was arguably louder than his own. “you cold?” Cash asked, clearing
his throat.

“bit. yeah.”

“huh.” Cash clenched
his teeth and squeezed his socket shut. eloquent
response, asshole, his mind supplied, unhelpfully. “well, i, uh—i hear body
heat—”

“—does wonders for
staving off the cold?”

Cash coughed. “well.
yeah.”

Slim chuckled quietly.
“papyrus has been using that on me a lot these past two nights.”

“him and everyone else
on this damn trip,” Cash mumbled.

“it’s sound advice,”
Slim said.

“it is.”

Silence hung between
them for a few charged seconds. Then—

“you wanna test the
theory?”

Cash froze—literally
and figuratively, because oh, that
was a tempting offer. And not least because his very bones felt like ice. It
took him a few deep breaths to muster up a coherent response. “s-sure.” He
turned over slowly, facing Slim, who was grinning, as if entertained by Cash’s
sudden fluster.

He moved first,
shifting across the mattress and gradually leaning into Cash—his skull just
touching Cash’s chest. He paused there, waiting for Cash to further the
contact. “this okay?” he whispered—and yes,
Cash wanted to say, this is more than
okay, this is perfect!

“it’s fine,” he said
instead, carefully wrapping an arm around Slim’s shoulders. He shifted,
uncertain. “is—is this? okay?”

Humming and nuzzling
right into Cash’s chest, Slim nodded. “this is perfect.”

Without realising it,
Cash had begun to purr.

By the time Papyrus
came to bed, Slim was fast asleep, head rested against Cash’s sternum. Cash
couldn’t sleep, though—not now. Not like this. He wanted to savour it. He
wanted to commit it to memory, to keep it locked away in his melting soul like
a treasure.

But his purring ceased
when Papyrus climbed onto the mattress and snuggled against Slim’s back. Cash
stiffened, silencing himself. “hey,” he said, and his voice was tight.

Papyrus beamed. “You
managed to convince him to share body heat with you? Excellent work, Wealthy
Me. You’ve achieved in an hour what I could not in two nights.”

A pit formed in Cash’s
chest, and he nodded weakly. “right…”

“Are you feeling
alright?” Papyrus asked, ever perceptive, and Cash grimaced.

“great.”

Papyrus’ smile sunk to
a frown, and he reached a hand out to hold Cash’s shoulder in steady
reassurance. “It’s okay, Cash—” Oh, how the use of his name threw Cash off
guard “—you can talk to me. Something’s bothering you. Can I help?”

Cash wasn’t sure if it
was the unabridged openness with which Papyrus addressed him, or simply that
Slim’s consistent, and abnormal, affectionate projections had finally worn him
down, but he broke, a startled sob escaping his throat. “i—i don’t know,” he
stammered, voice trembling.

Papyrus remained
composed, but a sadness touched his eyes. “What is it? Did something happen?”

“no.” Cash breathed
in, trying to stanch the tears. “not really? just—” His breath hitched “—all of
this. this damn competition. this
stupid bachelor rubbish. i—i can’t do it. i can’t…” Cash squeezed his socket
closed and the tears fell. “i can’t eliminate any more of you. i can’t.”

Papyrus rubbed gentle
circles on his arm and inched closer so that he could wrap an arm around both
Cash and Slim, who, somehow, slept on. “Oh, Wealthy Me, you don’t have to worry
about all that. It’s only a game. We know that you don’t really hate us.”

Cash’s chest heaved.
“oh, for god’s sake…”

“Sorry,” Papyrus said,
quickly, frowning. “A poor choice of words. But—my point remains. None of us
hold your eliminations against you.”

“pap, i can’t…” Cash
tried to catch his breath, pressing his knuckles against his eye socket to try
and stop the tears—a fruitless effort. “i can’t
get rid of edge or stretch this week. i…” He took a shuddering gasp of air.
“i can’t split them apart.”

Papyrus nodded his
understanding. “I know…”

“but i can’t do that
to you or slim either.” Cash’s hands had curled into fists, and he grit his
teeth, frustration mingling with despair. “what—what am i supposed to do?” Cash
felt ridiculous. Breaking down in front of Papyrus over something so trivial
and fleeting. It was just a silly
game—designed by the twisted bastard to try and coax Cash out of his shell.
Well. Mission accomplished. Clearly. His comfortable shell was in ruins.

Papyrus was silent for
a time, though his gentle petting didn’t cease. Eventually, he shifted closer,
so that Slim was pressed between himself and Cash, his head still resting on
Cash’s chest. Despite himself—Cash’s soul warmed at the feeling, and his tears
quelled a little. “What is Slim to you, Cash?” Papyrus asked, softly.

Cash blinked, taken
aback by the question. “what? what do you…?”

Papyrus tutted,
admonishing, but he smiled gently. “It’s been fairly obvious who you’ve had
your sights on since the beginning,” he said. “And I don’t want to get in the way
of that.”

Cash stared, then
shook his head earnestly. “no, no—papyrus, you’re not—”

“Small Me and I
aren’t…” Papyrus considered briefly. “We aren’t Edge and Stretch, if you catch
my meaning. We’re friends—excellent friends! But… just friends.”

“but… on the boat,
when you…”

Papyrus laughed softly
and stroked Cash’s cheekbone with his thumb. There was something deeply
intimate, yet completely lacking in sexuality, about the gesture, and Cash
shivered pleasantly, his purr threatening to return. “Twisted Me and myself
were growing rather tired of watching you and Small Me dancing around each
other.”

Cash stared,
astonished. “wait, that was… you and twist?”

Papyrus beamed, and
Cash lacked the composure to chastise him with one of his scalding glares.
Instead, he just laughed, if not simply because of the sheer unbelievability of
the situation. Papyrus leaned forward and touched his teeth to Cash’s forehead
lightly, before doing the same with Slim, lingering a few seconds longer. “I am
very fond of Small Me—and who knows? Perhaps, if properly cultivated, our
relationship could have blossomed into something more. I don’t think either of
us would have been opposed to that.” Cash didn’t miss the hypothetical past
tense of Papyrus’ words.

“papyrus…” He closed
his eyes, fresh guilt washing over him. “i’m sorry…”

“There will be none of
that,” Papyrus chided, gently. “The decision is still up to you, but I want you
to know that… I won’t hold it against you.”

Cash swallowed and
nodded. “thank you,” he whispered, and he shifted forward to hug Papyrus,
encasing Slim between them in the embrace. Papyrus held him back, and Cash felt
the hum of his purrs returning, deep down.

For all Papyrus’
reassurances, Cash couldn’t control the prickle of remorse he felt at the
knowledge that this—this perfection—was so fleeting.

Who will be eliminated this round? VOTE HERE.

The Bonechelor – Round 4 Bone Ceremony

Round 4 (previous)

Round 5 (next)

Land, ho! (And I’d like to apologise in advance for all the puns in this intro)

The ship has sailed back into port (perhaps some other ships will be sailing too), and it’s time for Cash to make another choice. Who will be walking the plank this week? Let’s sea!

🌸🌸🌸🌸💀💀💀💀

By the time Cash
awoke, sunlight was streaming in through his cabin’s porthole. He rolled over,
tugging his duvet up to his chin and shielding his eyes.

The mattress shifted
beside him and he groaned. “no. fuck off, twisted. let me sleep.”

Twist snickered
softly. “Good mornin’ ta ya too, Patches.” When Cash ignored him, he climbed up
onto the bed and knelt over Cash, humming. “Quite the sleepin’ beauty, aren’t
ya?”

“oh, go fuck
yourself,” Cash growled, despite the blush Twist’s words drew from him. “it’s
too early. i am not in the mood to deal with your bullshit.”

“Fine.” Twist
sniffed, leaning back. “But… ya’ve got five eager contestants waitin’ fer ya on
the upper deck.”

Cash pulled his
pillow over his skull. “tell them i’m busy.”

Twist hummed
thoughtfully, lying back against the headboard. “I would just pick one a’ them
myself, but ya’ve got some bones ta hand out, an’ my magic ain’t nearly as
pretty as yers.”

Cash flipped him off,
but rolled out of bed anyway. He stretched with a disgruntled sigh, turning to
regard Twist, who was lying with his legs sprawled. He watched Cash with a
smirk, lifting his brow bones. “don’t do that,” Cash said, giving him a dry
look. “you look like a whore.”

“An’ who says I’m not
one?” Twist asked, folding his arms.

“if i was going to
fuck you, i sure as hell wouldn’t pay you for it,” Cash said, shortly. Twist
tilted his head, grinning, and Cash blushed, suddenly realising the
implications of his words. “shut up—and get out. i need to get dressed.”

“At yer command…
Cap’n.” Twist saluted Cash before leaving, missing the foul gesture Cash shot
him in return.

Cash glanced out the
window as he pulled on his jeans. The sky was clear and the waves were calm,
slapping gently against the boat’s side. He could hear the call of seagulls and
the horns of other ships. When he emerged on the upper deck, he realised why;
they had pulled back into port, their boat tethered to the docks. Cash’s soul
sunk a little. He was going to miss being at sea.

The five remaining
contestants were waiting for him beside the pool. Twist was lounging against
the deck’s railing, and perked up when Cash emerged. “Ready fer the bonin’,
Patches?”

Cash glared at him.
“stop calling it that, you prick.”

“What? Yer givin’
everyone bones. It’s a perfect name.”

Cash fumed silently,
ignoring Twist in favour of surveying the others. He noticed that Edge and
Stretch had taken to standing on opposite ends of the group. Stretch had his
hoodie pulled up and Edge was very rigid, his shoulders tensed. Slim and Papyrus
were side-by-side, and both smiled at Cash as he approached. Razz was… also
smiling. Which was unsettling.

When Cash reached the
group, Twist heaved himself off the railing and came to stand beside Cash. “So,
hope all a’ ya enjoyed the cruise.”

“they’d better have,”
Cash muttered. “it cost a lot of fucking money.”

Twist only chuckled,
patting Cash on the back. “An’ we’re all very grateful ta ya fer treatin’ us.”
He indicated at the others before leaning back against the railing. “Stage is
yers, Patches.”

Cash sighed, flexing
his fingers before summoning the first violet bone. He offered it to Stretch,
who lifted his chin slightly as he took it. He frowned when Cash leaned in,
then blushed hotly when he whispered, “you know, edge told me some pretty interesting
things last night…” Cash drew away and smirked, pleased with the reaction.

Stretch cleared his
throat, his eye-lights flickering across the group. “yes. well. edge always
says some pretty interesting things when he’s drunk.”

Lifting a brow bone,
Cash tilted his head. “does he now?”

“oh fuck off,”
Stretch grumbled, hurrying to Twist’s side.

A little more
confidence-fuelled, Cash crossed the deck to stand before Edge next. He
hesitated a moment, studying his expression. Edge willfully looked away from him,
hard lines of tension in his face. Cash conjured a bone of magic and pressed it
into Edge’s hands, then leaned in, and quietly said, “still down for that
threesome?” as he eyed Stretch.

“Go fuck yourself,”
Edge snapped, sounding tired.

“well, i’m trying,”
Cash replied, giving Edge a sultry look.

“Fine then,” Edge
said crisply, drawing his shoulders up. “Go fuck Razz.”

Cash glanced at Razz,
frowning. “unlikely. but thank you.”

As Edge went to stand
beside Twist (ignoring Stretch in a manner very apparent to everyone present),
Cash summoned a third bone, facing down the three contestants he was less eager
to confront.

He tentatively
presented the bone to Slim, and his chest clenched at the glance Slim exchanged
with Papyrus. He smiled at Cash and stepped close enough that Cash could feel
his breath against his face. “y-you…” Cash swallowed, leaning back. Memories of
the previous night flooded his mind and his cheekbones felt hot.

Slim watched him
curiously for a few seconds, his smile growing wider the longer Cash struggled
with his words. “thank you,” Slim said at last, sparing him. “last night was
lovely.” He left Cash stammering and went to stand next to Twist, who cast him
a knowing look, smirking.

Tearing his eye away,
Cash summoned the final bone for the ceremony. Taking a deep breath, he gave it
to Papyrus. He briefly registered that Razz was still smiling, but ignored him
for the moment. He was trying very hard not to look at Papyrus either. He took
a shaky breath and looked deliberately away. “guess i was sort of… into all
that stuff last night,” he muttered, burying his hands in his pockets and
cursing himself for leaving his lighter at home.

He made a small noise
of surprise when Papyrus leaned in and touched his teeth to his jaw. “I second
that.” He beamed. “Last night was an eye socket-opening experience. Perhaps we
can continue it sometime.”

Cash nodded tightly,
staring at the floor. “right… yeah, uh. definitely.” As Papyrus joined the
rest of the group, Cash turned to Razz. “you’re looking awfully cheerful for
someone who just got eliminated,” he observed, cocking a brow bone.

“Let’s not pretend I
ever stood a chance of winning,” Razz said, crossing his arms. His smile was
still all too smug for Cash’s comfort.

“we all knew it,”
Cash said, somewhat snidely, “i just wasn’t sure you did. your inflated sense
of self can be baffling.”

Razz’s smile slipped
a little, but he quickly eased back into nonchalance. “This coming from a guy
who’s hosting a competition in which he is the prize.”

Cash frowned, but
Twist interrupted the conversation before it could escalate further. “Hey, don’
give ‘im the credit, I’m the host here,” he reminded them, looking affronted.
“An’, uh… I think we should be gettin’ off this boat. The owners ‘re probably
goin’ ta be back from their business trip soon.”

They all stared at
him. “twisted…” Cash pinched his nasal bridge, inhaling deeply. “what the fuck
did you do?”

Twist winked at him.
“If we wait around long enough, ya migh’ find out.”

As it happened, Cash
did not have to find out. They made it back to the manor without running into
any furious wealthy boat owners. Cash made his way straight to the bathroom
when they arrived home. As much as he loved being at sea, the lack of hot water
aboard the boat had been deplorable.

He had just begun to
strip off when he heard his bedroom door opening. He spun, quickly ducking
behind the bed to hide his nudity. “who–twisted! you ever heard of knocking?”

Twist blinked at
Cash, frowning as he scanned him in confusion. “Huh… oh! Yer naked.” Cash gave
him a deadpan look. “Sorry,” Twist said, turning away. “Just wanted ta ask how
yer feelin’.”

Sighing, Cash wrapped
a towel around himself and sat on the bed. “it’s fine,” he said. “nothing you
haven’t seen before… bastard.”

Twist glanced at him,
grinning, before sitting beside him. “So… is it narcissism, or…?”

“what?”

Twist chuckled,
squeezing his shoulder affectionately. “Can’ help bu’ notice ye’ve only got the
other Paps left…”

“ugh.” Cash shoved
him, scowling. “you want me to give razz a call? tell him to come back?”

“Fuck no. Ya made a
good choice.” Cash hummed in mild indifference, staring at the carpet.
“Seriously though, ya good fer next week?” Twist frowned, surveying Cash. “It’s
gonna be a hard decision.”

Cash frowned,
considering. Twist was right, he realised. With the way things had panned out
on the cruise (via Twist’s own orchestrating, no doubt), Cash’s choice was no
longer limited to himself.

No matter who he
eliminated next, he would be splitting apart a couple.