(Sexy again… depending on your take)

I was inspired by this to write an incredibly sexy shitpost based on @itsladykit‘s Atypical AU. If you want some quality supernatural AU content, you should check it out here.

In the meantime, enjoy this… uh… I don’t even know how to describe this, honestly.

I’ll just call it – Cash gets knocked up.

Tags: Skeleton pregnancy, polyamorous skeletons, Atypical shitpost (sorry Kit).

---

Cash
watched nervously as Twist, Rus, Edge, and Pup sat down on the sofa in front of
him. Their eyes were intent on him, and his bones tingled under their scrutiny.
“So, what’d ya bring us all here fer, darlin’?” Twist asked, leaning back. “Ya
finally gonna sing fer us?”

Cash
regarded him dully, pushing his sleeves over his wrists to hide his thin,
gold-plated bones. “no, asshole. i have… some news.”

They
all perked up at this, Twist lifting a brow-bone. “… Good news?” he asked,
worry creeping into his tone, though his typical grin remained.

Cash
considered for a moment, swallowing. “i… i don’t know,” he finally admitted, dropping
his head with a grimace. He tugged at the thin golden chain around his neck,
his fingers trembling slightly.

He
flinched at the feeling of a hand on his arm, and looked up to find Twist
observing him with a tender smile. “Hey, sweethear’, ‘s alright. Ya can tell us
anythin’—remember? We’re yer family.”

Cash
eyed Rus over Twist’s shoulder. A small smirk twitched at the corners of Rus’s
mouth, but he made no move to refute Twist’s words. “… Even the ‘slutubus’,”
Twist added, using Cash’s nickname for Rus.

Cash
ignored Rus’s derisive snort, sighing heavily before saying, “alright. fine.
since you’re so eager to know, i’m…” He took a deep breath, hiking up his shirt
to reveal his gold flecked soul—which now contained a tiny flicker of white
within its depths. “i’m pregnant… i guess.”

Silence
weighed on the room, and Cash scowled at the floor, letting his shirt drop. Magic
burned on his cheekbones and he cleared his throat. “well. that’s it. that’s
the news. so. now that you all know, i guess i’ll just be… going.”

He
turned for the stairs, but was stopped by a firm grip on his shoulder. He
looked up to find Twist staring at him, his golden eye practically glimmering. “I—I’m
gonna be a dad?” he breathed, his hand moving down to the hem of Cash’s shirt.

Cash
gently pried his hand away, humming awkwardly. “uh… well? you’re…”

“it’s…
me, isn’t it?” Pup asked softly, standing. He approached Cash, taking a hold of
his hand. His eyes were bright, and Cash could tell he was struggling to hide a
smile. “i—the other day, when we were… and you asked me to—” Pup broke off,
blushing deeply.

“Wait,”
Twist said, glancing between Cash and Pup. “You and him were—? But… I thought
you only—with me…?” Twist seemed at a loss, frowning as if trying to solve a
particularly challenging puzzle.

They
all looked up as Edge laughed softly. He appeared complacent, his arms folded
across his chest. “Come now, there’s no need for this. I am fairly confident I’m
the father of this child—am I not, Cash?”

Cash’s
face felt desperately warm—he was almost certain it was glowing. Edge rose,
coming to stand before him. “I am an excellent chef after all, and you always
were a fan of my…” Cash shuddered as he leaned in to whisper, “cream-pies.”

Yanking
away harshly, Cash shook his head. “listen—all of you. i don’t—it’s not…”

“who’s
the slut now, mermaid?”

They
all turned to look at Rus, who had made no move to get up, leaning back
casually on the sofa. Cash wasn’t sure what made him snap, but a big part of
him suspected that it was Rus’s smile—which was just a little too
self-satisfied for Cash to endure.

Marching
forward, he crouched beside Rus, and pressed his teeth to his jaw. “it’s yours,
demon.”

Though
in truth, Cash had no clue who the real father was, seeing the look on Rus’s
face was worth more than all the wealth in the world.