Ooh, man, I’m sorry. I completely forgot I had this in my ask box! Here’s a shitpost for you–with special guest stars Red, Edge, and Razz.

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Slim regarded the three options set out on the table in front of him with distaste. “marry,” he said definitively, pointing to the maple syrup.

Red eyed him, cocking a brow-bone. “seriously? ya’d choose that sweet shit over beer? it doesn’ even get ya drunk.”

Slim shrugged. “it also doesn’t taste like it was scraped from the gutter,” he muttered, earning a snort from Red. He glanced wearily at the remaining options, the corners of his mouth turned down into a grimace. “i suppose i’d…” He shook his head in disgust, turning to his brother for assistance.

Razz only huffed, shaking his head. “Don’t look at me, mutt. I wouldn’t go anywhere near those foul excuses for sustenance.”

Edge hummed in thought, slowly approaching the table. “The real question is–which would you be able to tolerate for a single night? I suppose consuming the beer would at least erase your memory–granted you have enough.”

Razz nodded in concession. “Sound reasoning. But wouldn’t it be more satisfactory to eliminate the beer from existence? It’s a putrid drink.”

“As putrid as that greasy circle of cheese?” Edge scoffed. “I truthfully thought you had better taste than that, Razz.”

Indignant, Razz marched forward, yanking the pizza and beer can to the front of the table. “Are you honestly telling me you would rather endure the taste of warm piss in your mouth for a night than suffer a little grease? You astound me, Lieutenant.”

As Edge and Razz bickered, Red tugged at Slim’s sleeve, drawing his gaze downward. “hey, uh–how ‘bout ya forget the pizza an’ beer an’ i show ya somethin’ really worth fuckin’?” He winked casually, though a pale tinge of colour lighted his cheekbones.

Dipping his head with a small smile, Slim nodded, following Red upstairs. It only came to their brothers’ attention that they were missing when the sounds of their ‘absence’ became too loud to ignore. 

Neither Razz nor Edge could deny that Slim had made a wise choice.