“Hmm,” Razz considered. “Marry my brother, I suppose. I’d not sacrifice his abilities in battle for a pretty face.” Slim perked up, smiling tentatively. “Now….”
He touched Blue’s chin, studying his features up close. Blue just stared back, bewildered. Razz made a considering sound, then turned to Rus. When he touched Rus’ chin, though, Rus jerked away instinctively, and Razz smirked. “Kill the blueberry. Bed the ashtray.”
Rus swallowed tightly and scooted away, unnerved.
Tag: bed wed behead
For Twist: Blue, Papyrus, Rus, you F/M/K?
Twist bounced a coin over his knuckles, watching the others. “I really can’t jus’ pick ‘fuck’ fer everyone? ‘S my preference.”
“No,” Blue said, “that’s not how you play the game.”
Twist caught the coin between his fingers, then stood and crossed his arms, surveying the other three. “I can’t kill any ‘a ya. It ain’t gonna happen.”
Rus sighed. “it’s just a game, twisted. no one’s dying.”
“Hmph. Some game.” He eyed the coin contemplatively. Then he pointed to Rus. “Right, then. Heads or tails?”
“…heads?”
Twist flipped the coin. “Heads it is. Yer safe, sweetheart. Fer now. Blue?”
“Twist, this isn’t—“
“Hey! Ya never said how I had ta choose. Now, heads er tails?”
He sighed. “Tails.”
“…Safe. Papyrus?”
“TAILS.”
“…Nope. Heads. Looks like yer dead, darlin’. Sorry ‘bout that. Blue? Heads ‘er tails?”
“Heads.”
“…Heads it is,” Twist said. “Looks like we’re fucking. An’ yer—“ he pointed to Rus. “—gettin’ married. Hope yer not expecting me ta get down on one knee fer ya.”
“No,” Blue said, “but I might.”
Rus’ sockets went wide, but Twist guffawed. “Well. I think that can be arranged, sweetheart.” Some of the tension had bled out of his shoulders, and to everyone’s surprise, Blue offered his hand. Hesitantly, Twist took it and allowed Blue to lead him away.
Bed, marry, kill for Cash with Slim, Red, and OG Papyrus, pretty please.
Cash leaned forward, smirking as he surveyed them. “alright. make your pitch.”
Papyrus blinked. “UM…WHAT?”
“you heard me. make your pitch—sell yourself. tell me what you can offer me.”
Unimpressed, Red cupped one hand over his pubic bone and thrust, lifting the other with his middle finger extended. “oh, i got sumthin’ fer you alright—“
“kill,” Cash said, pointing at him. “and? what about you two?”
Slim actually looked a little hurt, and Papyrus looked offended. He crossed his arms over his chest. “YOU KNOW, GREEDY-ME, I DON’T THINK I CARE FOR YOUR ATTITUDE—“
“kill,” Cash said, getting an indignant huff in reply. He smirked, surveying Slim. “guess you’re the lucky one, love—bedded and wedded.”
Slim looked at Papyrus and Red, then shook his head. “no thanks.”
Cash blinked. “what?”
Slim wrapped an arm over Papyrus’ shoulders and knuckled the top of Red’s head. “i think i’ll be happier with these two.” Cash sputtered as they walked off.
“w-what!? you can’t—that’s not how the game is played!”
Red only offered up another lewd gesture in response.
Razz, bed, wed, behead – Twist, Cash, Rus? (I’m sorry, I’m greedy for these three right now)
Razz sniffed, walking back and forth in front of the other three. “Ya need a little help there—?”
“Be silent!” Twist raised a brow-bone, then snorted and shook his head, amused. “Hmm…wed Cash. He, at least, knows how to appreciate the finer things.” Cash just crossed his arms, regarding Razz skeptically. Ignoring him, Razz looked between Rus and Twist. “Mutt!” he snapped, and Twist cocked his head.
“…yeah?”
“You have high HP? You are…durable?”
A slow smile spread across Twist’s face. “Yeah, sweetheart. I don’ break easy…but yer welcome ta try,” he said with a wink.
Razz nodded. “Kill the ashtray and bed the mutt, then.”
Rus wiped imaginary sweat from his brow. “thank fuck. dodged a bullet there.”
“You have high HP? You are…durable?” This made me laugh so much…… Do I ship this now? Probably.
Thank you, Kit! I loved this. The Razz FMKs are hilarious. They all involve someone feeling insulted at being chosen as the marry/fuck (or relieved at not being picked).
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