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Thank you so much to everyone who’s sent in a wed, bed, behead (F/M/K) ask. I’ve had so much fun doing them ^_^

I have a few left to do, which I’ll probably have to postpone until tomorrow, but I’m really looking forward to them. And if you want to drop any more in my inbox, please feel free to do so!

Red! F/M/K! Edge, Papyrus, ams Slim! Go!

“i… fuck. i don’ like this. this is bullshit.”

“It’s just a game, runt,” Edge told Red, though he was frowning a little, concerned by the look of dejection on his brother’s face.

“It’s alright, Red!” Papyrus said, cheerfully. “We know that it’s a difficult choice–I too would marry all three of you if I was given the option.”

Red looked at Papyrus with raised brow-bones. “uh, thanks paps, but that’s not really what i’m…”

Papyrus levelled him with a long, firm stare, his smile fierce. “I am well aware of your misgivings–but I’m sure Slim would make an excellent husband.” Papyrus turned to Edge, grinning. “And Edgy-me would be a wonderful bedmate!”

Both Edge and Red looked at him, spluttering indignantly. Sighing, Papyrus quickly said, “Platonic bedmate. You told me you and your brother used to sleep with each other, did you not, Red?”

“next ta each other!” Red corrected, hurriedly. “not–not with.” Blushing furiously, he growled in frustration. “but that still doesn’ solve anythin’, ‘cause then i’d have ta kill…”

They all looked at Papyrus, who was smiling brightly. “Me!” he said, with far too much enthusiasm than the situation warranted.

No one spoke, a still silence hanging in the air, until Slim quietly said, “paps, you… you don’t have to…”

“It’s not a matter of whether or not I have to, Small-me,” Papyrus said gently, placing a hand over Slim’s. “It’s simply common sense and logic!”

“paps,” Red growled, “i’m not killin’ ya.”

With a put-upon sigh, Papyrus shook his head. “It’s only a game, Red. I know you have a good heart.” When Red looked unconvinced, Papyrus asked, “Would you rather kill your brother or Slim?”

“w-what? no, but i–”

“Excellent! Then it’s settled.”

“it ain’t fuckin’ settled, paps! i’m not–”

“Red,” Edge cut in quickly. “Come. Help me with dinner.”

Red stared at Papyrus, looking for a moment as if he might protest. But upon receiving a stern glare from Edge, he sighed and reluctantly followed him into the kitchen.

Once they’d left, Slim settled against Papyrus’ side, curling up with his knees drawn to his chest. “thank you,” he whispered.

“I’m quite sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, Small-me,” Papyrus said, quietly. Slim gave him a knowing look, and Papyrus sighed, lightly kissing him atop his skull. “You’re welcome.”

Aaah, this one hurt. I don’t think Red enjoyed that. (Papyrus spared him having to kill his brother or poor little Slim though.) From this F/M/K ask meme. 

Sans for the F / M / K meme: Blue, Blackberry, Slim?

“huh.” Sans glanced over the three skeletons, deep in thought. Where Blue and Blackberry were practically brimming with excitement, Slim looked nervous, his head ducked and his shoulders slumped deep into his jacket. “well,” Sans said, strolling over to the sofa. “gotta marry blue. it’s not gay if you marry your pal, is it?”

Blue gave him a derisive frown, but it was clear he was struggling not to laugh. “Sorry, Sans, but I think marrying your best friend is rather gay.”

“ah. well, would it be considered gay if i boned myself?” He shot Blackberry a grin. “‘cause i think that’s what i’m gonna do.”

Blackberry drew himself up, proudly. “Gay or not, I’m very flattered.”

Sans shot him a wink, before turning to Slim. “so, i guess…” He trailed off, suddenly realising he’d messed up. He could tell that Slim was trying to smile, but the corners of his mouth had turned down reflexively, and his fingers trembled slightly where they were twisted in his jacket.

“ah, shit..” Shaking his head, Sans turned back to Blue. “sorry, bud. change of heart. you wouldn’t mind taking a bullet for your buddy slim here, would you?”

Blue quickly caught on to Sans’ line of thinking, and shook his head, smiling sweetly. “Of course not. It would be my honour.”

“sweet,” Sans said, “‘cause i think i wanna marry the pup.”

Slim’s weak smile faded entirely, and he shook his head. “s-sans, it’s… okay. i…”

“nah, for real, man,” Sans said, his smile firm. “you’re a lot more fun to play poker with than the berry–and he doesn’t know jackshit about science. think i’d go crazy if i had to live with him. the guy’s dense.”

Blue glared indignantly, but Slim’s faint blush and small smile were more than consolation enough for Sans.

This one was really fun (and, uh, a little sad. Which was probably why it was fun). Thank you! From this F/M/K ask meme. Please feel free to send me any characters you’d like to see!

Dang. There are too many good possibilities to ask…I suppose I’ll just say the first one that comes to mind. The question goes to Razz, the options being Edge, Comic, and Stretch.

itsladykit:

Razz sneered. “This is ridiculous,” he said.

“it’s just a game. it’s not gonna hurt you to play, teacup.”

Staring hard at Sans, Razz asked sharply, “What did you just call me?” Sans only grinned. “Kill,” he said, pointing to Sans. “Bed the ashtray.” Then, with an imperious sniff, “And marry the lieutenant. He’s the only one of these three with any redeeming qualities.”

Leaning over to Sans, Edge asked under his breath, “Why do I feel like I was just insulted?”

razz, fmk, twist, edge and rus

Razz scoffed. “Is this a joke?”

“Nah,” Twist said. “The only joke here is yer d–”

“Let’s remain civil,” Edge said tersely, casting Twist a cautionary frown. Twist only shrugged, leaning back and throwing an arm around Rus’s shoulders.

“A’ight then. Go ahead, little guy. Take yer pick.”

Giving a dignified sniff, Razz said, “Fine. I’d fuck…” He surveyed the three options carefully, smirking as his gaze settled on Rus. “I’d fuck the sweet little Tale-verse–”

A warning growl sounded in Edge’s throat, his expression darkening. “Watch yourself, short-stuff.”

Razz sneered, but rolled his eyes. “Very well–I’d fuck the Edgelord. If only to prove to him which of us is the better lover.”

Edge rolled his eyes, but seemed satisfied with the answer, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. Razz glanced at Twist and Rus, frowning. “I suppose I’d kill the Twisted freak and marry his soft little Tale-verse pet.” Razz’s gaze raked over Rus, and he smirked in satisfaction at the furious glares he received from Edge and Twist.

“Okay, ya tiny brat, now yer jus’ askin’ ta–”

“hey, relax, twisted,” Rus said calmly, extracting himself from Twist’s embrace. Edge and Twist watched in bewilderment as he approached Razz, leaning down so he could whisper, “are you certain you made the right decision, love?”

“Wha–ah!” Razz let out an undignified squeal of surprise as Rus cupped his pelvic bone, squeezing it gently. Razz stared up at him, his cheekbones heating furiously. “What the fuck do you think you’re–”

“what?” Rus asked, blinking innocently. “i thought you’d jump at the opportunity to fuck a–what was it? ‘sweet little tale-verse’…?” He trailed off, smiling complacently as Razz spluttered. “how about this, sweetheart–my bedroom, ten minutes, one time offer. you in?”

Razz gaped, lost for words. “I–I’m–”

Shrugging, Rus shoved his hands in his pockets. “didn’t think so,” he said, returning to the couch and wedging himself between Edge and Twist. “i doubt you’d be able to handle me anyway.”

Razz could only withstand the smug smiles of Edge and Twist for a few seconds before he was hurrying from the room, his face burning.

“Pity really,” Twist said, watching him go. “I reckon he’d’ve been alright in bed.”

From this F/M/K ask meme. Feel free to send in any characters you’d like to see ^_^

bed, wed, behead. rus with cash, edge and twist :D

Rus scratched the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable. “i dunno about this… can’t i just fuck and marry all of you?”

“nope. you’ve gotta kill one of us,” Cash said, deadpan. Rus grimaced, scanning the three of them anxiously.

“well, i suppose i would…” His eyes settled on Edge and he swallowed. “f-fuck–”

“I swear to God, Rus, if you don’t kill me–”

“No way, Edgelord,” Twist interrupted. “He’s killin’ me–like hell I’d let either of ya die.”

Rus blinked. “guys, i, um–i think you might be taking this a little too seriousl–”

“he’d obviously kill me,” Cash said, plainly. Twist and Edge looked at him dubiously, and Cash shrugged. “obvious choice.”

“no,” Rus said, insistently. With a frustrated groan, he crouched in front of all of them, clasping their hands together and holding them in his own. “look. i know this is just a stupid game, but it seems that i have something to prove to all of you. so here’s what we’re going to do–i’m going to take you all upstairs, and i’m going to fuck you all until you’re ready to believe that you’re worth something.”

Edge, Twist, and Cash all stared at Rus, clearly taken aback. Then, Twist chuckled, knuckling the crown of Rus’s skull. “Aw, yer sweet, Tale-verse, ya really are–but it’s gonna take more th’n thirty second ta convince us a’ that.”

A beat of silence, and then–“i’ve changed my mind,” Rus said. “fuck cash, marry the edgelord–and kill the twisted bastard.”

Twist grinned, triumphant.

Here you go, Painty! From this F/M/K meme. Please feel free to send in any characters you’d like to see!

for f,m,k do cash with cash, cash and cash

The three skeletons sitting on Cash’s sofa all bore such striking resemblance to him, that he had no choice but to regard with them with complete, unreserved disgust. Pinching his nasal ridge, he sighed. “fine. alright. i guess we’re doing this.”

Stepping forward, he examined them, sockets narrowed. “well, first–i’d fuck all of you, just to see how good i was in bed.”

“why all of us?” the one on the left asked. “wouldn’t you only need to test one of us?”

“i’m minimising room for error, you idiot,” Cash snapped. “and once i was done with you, i’d kill you all.”

The middle Cash blinked, raising a brow-bone. “but, who would ya marry?” he asked.

“i’m already fucking stuck with myself for the rest of my life–i don’t need three more version of me around.”

There were general mutterings of agreement.

Here, @paintys-actual-art, have some shitpost angst. From this F/M/K meme. Feel free to send me characters!