Thank you @dignis-sin-bar! This one was really fun to write. Though, fair warning, it’s extremely suggestive.

Also: warning for mild police intimidation (in case anyone is uncomfortable with that! It’s not too bad though)

---

“So, when do I get to meet this
fiancé of yours?” Edge asked, glancing up at his partner. “I’m afraid I’m still
not entirely convinced you haven’t just made him up.”

Slim looked at him, a brow bone
cocked. “maybe i’ll introduce you if you promise not to be an asshole to me for
the next three weeks of patrol.”

Edge hummed, frowning, then shook
his head. “I’m sorry, those are not terms I can agree to. Being an asshole is
part of the job description when it comes to training rookie cops.”

Slim grinned, shrugging. “guess
you’ll have to wait until the wedding then, edgelord.”

Edge’s soul gave a small leap in
his chest (part of it due to his irritation at Slim’s nickname for him), but he
schooled his features before looking up. “I’m invited to your wedding?” he
asked, trying to sound indifferent.

Slim regarded him in silence for
a moment, that ever-present sliver of amusement playing across his features. “well,”
he said eventually, “it would be a bit nearsighted not to invite my best man to
my own wedding.”

Edge had to look away to hide the
crimson flush on his cheekbones. He could practically feel Slim’s smirking gaze
fixed on him, and he quickly cleared his throat, straightening his uniform.
“Very well, I’ll be there. Now, look alive. This isn’t the friendliest of
neighbourhoods.” Slim only watched Edge for a moment longer, before glancing
away, his attention raptly focused on the dingy, snow-covered streets around them.

It was getting late, most
residents hurrying inside for the night to escape the cold and dark. Edge could
hardly blame them. More than once, he’d been called to this part of town to
deal with one incident or another. He shot a quick glance at his protégé,
scanning his posture, his expression, his alertness. He couldn’t deny, Slim
certainly seemed programmed for the job. He was constantly on his toes, despite
concealing it, and he had a natural protective instinct that came in handy when
working with a partner.

They rounded a corner onto a
street lined with a few shops—some, not quite what one would consider honest
traders. Edge had long been trying to convince his Captain to investigate some
of the activities that went on down here, but she’d always brushed him off,
telling him she had bigger worries.

Up ahead, Edge suddenly caught
sight of a hoodie-clad figure carrying a backpack, their head ducked as they
hurried down the street. While Edge figured they might just be trying to get
out of the cold, something about their demeanour told him that they were trying
to avoid attention. He glanced at Slim, nodding his head in the direction of
the figure. “Ever done a stop and search?” he asked. Slim shrugged, shaking his
head. “Come on then, I’ll demonstrate.”

Slim smirked as he followed Edge
down the street towards the hurrying figure, and Edge was tempted to tell him
to act professional, but figured the command would be lost on the constantly
laid-back skeleton. As they neared the person, Edge noticed the glint of golden
eye-lights beneath their hoodie, surprised upon realising that it was another
skeleton monster. Well, that ruled out the cold as a reason for their haste.
Edge cleared his throat, calling out. “Excuse me, sir.”

He was half-expecting the monster
to bolt, but instead, he turned slowly to face Edge and Slim. Edge was a little
irritated to see the flicker of a smirk on his features—as if he didn’t have to
deal with enough of that at work every day. “is there a problem, officer?” the
skeleton asked, his voice smooth. His gaze fell on Slim, and he coughed. “officers,”
he corrected.

Edge remained poised, but
non-threatening, reminding himself that this citizen hadn’t done anything
wrong… yet. “Do you mind telling us where you’re headed?” he asked, calmly. Out
of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Slim, who was looking abnormally
rigid, his gaze fixed on the other skeleton.

“just heading home,” the skeleton
said, offering Edge a small smile.

Edge nodded in the direction of
the backpack. “What’s in the bag?”

The skeleton raised a brow bone,
and inexplicably, his gaze darted to Slim for a moment, before coming back to
rest on Edge. “been doing some christmas shopping.”

Edge frowned, his hand twitching
towards his holster. “That’s funny, since Christmas was yesterday. A little
late to be getting gifts, isn’t it?”

The skeleton shook his head with
a chuckle. “well, i am rather forgetful—you know how it is.”

Edge’s frown deepened. “I’m going
to have to ask you to open the bag, sir,” he said, coolly, keeping his voice
level. While this monster didn’t seem to be the unstable type, the last thing
he wanted was to startle him into doing something stupid. He felt Slim tap him on
the shoulder.

“edge, i’m not sure if we should
be—”

“Quiet, rookie,” Edge growled
under his breath, not turning his attention away from the skeleton in front of
him. Slim fell silent, but Edge could see him shifting nervously in the snow as
he observed the other monster, who was silent, glancing between them. Edge was
a little unsettled by the fact that his lazy smirk hadn’t once faltered, and he
was looking as relaxed as ever. “Sir, if you refuse to cooperate, I’m going to
have to—”

“no need to jump the gun, officer,”
the skeleton interrupted, grinning. The pun alone might have been enough to
make Edge snap, had he not been trying to demonstrate correct protocol to Slim.
Still, he pinned the skeleton with a warning glare, causing him to chuckle and
shake his head. “i’ll gladly open the bag.” Gradually, his movements slow and
deliberate, the skeleton unshouldered the backpack, lowering it onto the thick
snow covering the ground. Edge felt Slim give his arm an insistent tap.

“edge—”

“That’s enough, Slim!” Edge snapped. The irritation inside him only seemed
to increase when he caught sight of the skeleton grinning up at them from where
he was crouched. Giving an impatient sigh, Edge said, “Stop delaying, and open
the bag.”

The amusement never leaving his
expression, the skeleton finally obliged, slowly unzipping the backpack. Edge’s
soul stuttered at the sight of its contents, heat quickly rising to his
cheekbones as he realised his mistake. A very
vast collection of… bedroom toys, in many sizes and shapes, filled the bag
to its brim. The skeleton’s grin widened, and he tilted his head questioningly.
“would you like me to demonstrate what they’re used for, too?”

Trying very hard to hide the
heated magic on his cheekbones, Edge cleared his throat. “D-don’t be—no. You—you may close the bag,” he said,
stiffly.

The skeleton made no move to
obey, still regarding Edge with a disconcertingly sultry expression. “are you
completely certain you want me to close it, officer?”
he almost purred.

Edge spluttered, utterly
indignant. Beside him, he was certain he could hear Slim trying to stifle his
snickers. He’d have to have a long conversation with him later about proper
police etiquette. For now, he turned his outraged glare on the skeleton before
him, who was still grinning, an element of playfulness in his eyes. “Are you
propositioning a police officer?” Edge asked, voice dropping low despite the
sudden rise of magic to his already burning cheekbones.

The other skeleton however,
seemed completely unperturbed, grinning as his gaze flickered to Edge’s badge.
“only if you’re offering, officer…” he narrowed his eye sockets, squinting at
the badge through the dim evening light, “edgelord.”

Edge fumed, unable to comprehend
the sheer audacity of the monster before him. He was almost at a loss for
words, spluttering incoherently until something clicked inside his head. “Wait.
What did you just call me?” he asked, eye sockets narrowing in suspicion.
Before the skeleton could answer, he turned to Slim, who had his hand over his
mouth, his form shaking with laughter. “What
is the meaning of this?” Edge snapped, and Slim quickly coughed to hide his
snickers.

“i, um—” Slim cleared his throat
again, “edge, i’d like to formally introduce you to my fiancé, stretch.”

For a moment, Edge’s mind
couldn’t quite seem to comprehend Slim’s words. He stood, completely
dumbstruck, until the gears in his head slowly clicked back into action. “You—you’re—?”
He glanced frantically between Slim and his fiancé, a mixture of mortification
and outrage building within him.

“it’s lovely to meet you, officer,” Stretch said, the lecherous
way he spoke Edge’s title doing little to quell the officer’s humiliation.
Zipping up the backpack and rising to his feet, Stretch held out his hand. “i’ve
heard so much about you.”

Too stunned to shake Stretch’s
hand, Edge could only stare, until he heard Slim give a low chuckle. “enough
flirting, love, go home. i’ll be there soon to entertain you.” Stretch grinned,
excitement sparkling in his eyes, and Edge tried to deny that involuntary magic
flooded his mouth at the expression. “i think the edgelord has suffered enough
at your hands for tonight.” Slim gave Edge’s arm a gentle nudge, but Edge
barely registered it, still trying very hard not to snap… or do something far
more indecent.

“i beg to differ,” Stretch said
with a wink Edge’s direction, but after a stern look from Slim, he hoisted his
backpack over his shoulders. “perhaps another time, then. i can’t wait to get
to know you, officer.” Stretch’s gaze lingered on Edge a little too long for
his liking, and he was more than relieved when he disappeared down the street.

The moment he was out of sight,
Edge spun to face Slim, fuming. “What the
hell was that?” he hissed, fists clenching. “Why didn’t you tell me he was your fiancé?”

Slim shrugged, appearing unfazed
by Edge’s sudden outburst. “i tried. but you seemed very eager to get him to
open that backpack. i have to ask—did you know what was in there?”

Edge knew Slim was trying to rile
him up—and by god, it was working. Taking a long, deep breath in an attempt to
compose himself, he clenched his teeth together. “You know I didn’t—anyway, it’s not important. We will never speak of it again. Am I clear?”

Slim was still grinning, but
after a moment, he nodded. “crystal… officer.” Edge swallowed back his retort
at Slim’s imitation of Stretch, turning to continue his patrol—like a professional. “oh, by the way,” Slim
said, catching up to him. “you’ll have to forgive my fiancé’s forwardness, but
his offer still stands if you’re interested.”

Edge slowed slightly, turning to
regard Slim with a frown. “Offer…?”

Slim smiled, the expression far
too saccharine to be innocent. “to join us. there’s plenty of room in our bed
for three.”