ollie-oxen-free:

How It Began

i’ve yet to write a piece that included the purple swapfells. i’m here to remedy that. (i’m on mobile like the godless heathen i am so take this unedited nonsense)

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Once upon a time in a place where there were gods and monsters, but mostly monsters, there were some skeletons. “Wow!” Said a skeleton we shall call Papyrus, as that is his name, “I sure am a skeleton!”

And indeed he was.

So some shit about them like having alternates and stuff, and Payrus is actually pretty great. I love him. Treat him well please don’t make him stupid give him the depth he deserves. I would die for him. Most others woul d die for Papyrus, despite his uncomfortableness with such a fact. Don’t die for me, he thinks, but live! And something edgy but positive like that.

So one day Papyrus was hanging out with Papyrus and Papyrus and Papyrus and Sans and Sans and Sans and Sans (but for confusions sake we will call them by their most common names) when there was an explosion!!!1!1!

“What was that!” Screamed Fell.

“It was an explosion dumbass,” backflipped Razz.

“I am high on marijuana” said Slim, the comedic relief. Every stopped and stared at him and the dozens of blunts hanging from him mouth before they all collectively shrugged at the same time and went downstairs to the basement? Which is where the machine was.

(AN: I didn’t mean to click the question mark but i’m keeping it.)

Slim javelin threw himself onto the floor of the basement, down the stairs.

“Wow,” said the hoodie papyrus, “even more hot topic.” He was orange and gay.

At the bottom in the room that wasn’t actually hot topic, orange guy lied to us, were some purple. “That’s some purple,” said Red, always stating the obvious.

“Color me surprised” said Sans with the obligatory pun. The author is bad at jokes leave me alone.

“Bitch,” said one of the purples. He was tall and had an eyepatch like he was cosplaying johnny depp (except even with as shitty as Cash is i actually enjoy looking at media that contains him oh burn take that mr “what does my face actually look like no one knows”) and he was purple. Did I mention purple? I did. The purple who was probably. A papyrus since he was tall, unless he was just a really tall Sans but he wasn’t, stood up. “I like money.”

Slim sat up. “Hey can you be my sugar daddy? I need a father figure in my life.”

Purple- I mean Cash (unless you wanna call him daddy I think Slim might, eyyy self-high-five)- stopped snorting baking soda from a ziplock bag and shrugged apathetically.

“Well that’s settled,” said Blue, mostly because I can’t remember if I made him talk yet or not.

But it wasn’t settled because they were forgetting the short purple guy. Much like many of the individuals that I, the author, personally know, as short purple is left out even though I care about him. Include him. I care. I care about him.

“I think there’s another one,” said Razz, perceptive as always, as he gestured to the skeleton in clear view in front of all of them in the middle of the well-lit basement in the very damn center, wow he’s been overlooked fancy that.

The skeleton breathed. They were all amazed. “Let’s call him Black for the color scheme that we stopped following after naming two of us,” said Red.

“That’s racist.”

“No, like Blackberry.” Said Red to whoever spoke, take your pick.

Slim stopped sucking dick long enough to look over. “I thought there was a Blackberry already?”

“No, no,” said Fell. He knew what was going on. “Twistfell isn’t here. Get your shit together.”

Papyrus spoke up for the first time since the start. “But what will we do if we interact with them?”

“We’ll call the one that everybody loves B.B., like the gun,” explained Fell.

“Badass.” Stretch nodded. Now he, too, had more than one line a dialogue. I think.

“I guess I like the legend of zelda or some shit,” said Black. He had a triforce eye. Is there a purple triforce? All I’ve played is Breath of the Wild (i love that game it’s so great).

Blue looked at Razz, who was no longer purple but like a darkish blue? For confusions sake. Can you imagine having two purples running around? Ha ha, wild. “I’m going to fuck him tonight,” Blue said. Rotten-squared-berry.

I guess Razz was probably into it or something.

The End.

Inspirational ★★★★★