lifeandlovesofemmalinethewriter:
I feel like when you’re writing, organizing chapters and dialogue is easy
but jfc, the amount of time it takes to constantly keep people moving and make sure they’re in the right spaces and trying to come up with wording for it is always such a shock.
Like, fuck, I made you pick up a coffee cup, you need to put it down at some point. also I can’t remember what I dressed you in, can you push up your sleeves? I don’t remember if you even have your shirt on.
and YOU. YOU OVER THERE, you got out of your chair earlier, but did you come back yet? Are you coming back? Where did you even go and why’d you get up? Fuck, I can’t make you sit down again already, you just stood up, go…over there. go get more coffee. Did you bring your mug with you? fine. bring the pot to the table and—wait, wasn’t the coffee pot already over here? shit, hold on, I need to go back and re-read and re-write
this is the most relevant thing i have ever read.
I think one of the most wild things as a writer is the sensation that you’re not actually directing your characters– they’re sort of directing themselves, and you’re scrambling around attempting to copy down whatever it was that they just did, but they don’t wait for you to finish copying. They just keep walking and talking and moving around and existing of their own volition and at some point you look up and you’re like “WHOA OKAY EVERYBODY BACK THE FUCK UP WHERE ARE WE”
It’s kind of like trying to write sheet music for an orchestra while it’s playing
#thatwritinglife
It’s kind of like trying to write sheet music for an orchestra while it’s playing
Oh my god its in words
“Listen,” my main character says reasonably, “I’m not just gonna sit still while he goes on spouting that nonsense.”
I, the writer, frantically scribble down a rough map and route. “No, obvious now, but I still have to write the part where he yells–”
“I’M BEING IGNORED,” the antagonist yells and begins to flap his arms. “LOOK I AM ALSO DYNAMIC.”
“Whoa there,” the main character says mildly and begins to do squats. They pull out a weapon. “Take a look at this escalation!”
“No!” I cry, “he took your gun, like, five minutes ago–”
“Second gun,” the main character says and cocks it. Pauses. “Was I on a low squat or a high one just now?”
“HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN BLOWING RASPBERRIES?” the antagonist wants to know, still spinning.
“When did you start spinning?” I ask in despair.
There is no escape.
@x-i-l-verify reminded me of you 🙂
This is utterly perfect and accurate
It’s back!
LOL. YES. SO TRUE. I swear choreographing sex scenes is like trying to herd angry, greased-up cats. Okay, so your legs are up here, which gives you room over here, but then where do YOUR legs go…okay hands on top, wait that won’t work…okay put that there but don’t forget you’re still on your front…and then if you’re like this then how is he gonna…
UGH. WHAT IS VAGINA. PENIS GOES WHERE. ALASDKJFALSDFKJ;JADF
Omgggg the accuracy!
Can we discuss fight scenes for a moment? I mean. Holy shit, they are at least as complicated as sex scenes. Like–
Me: But, wait, is that even a thing you can do?
Character: I don’t know, but it sounds cool, right?
Me: Yeah, but is it physically possible? I mean–
Character: Look, bitch, research is your job. Google that shit.
Me: …I wouldn’t even know how to being describing that in a manner suitable for a search engine.
Character: Not my job. Figure it out. I’m gonna be over here, being awesome.
Me: …why did I make you such an asshole?
Other Character: What about me! I’m cool too! And just as awesome! Make sure you make me look cool too!
Me: *hands over my eyes* Yes, yes. You’re cool too. Just give me five fucking minutes to figure out how the fuck I can simultaneously make both of you look capable and competent, while also maintaining suspension of disbelief–
Both Characters: AND COOL! WE NEED TO LOOK COOL TOO!
Me: YES! AND COOL! I’M SO GLAD YOU HAVE YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER! FUCK! *deep breaths* Okay. I’m gonna take a break. Fuck you both and your stupid fucking fight. *flips them off and walks away* JUST FUCKING KISS ALREADY! IT’S WHY EVERYONE’S HERE ANYWAY!
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