Oh my, thank you for sending in Rottenjoke! The prompt is 100% made for Razz. I’m starting to get into this ship, and it was great having the opportunity to write it. For whatever reason, I went for a bit of a weird approach with this one, but I hope you still enjoy it!
Warning: The Underfell brothers are little shits.
Edge watched with amusement as
Razz continued to fail at stopping himself from sending quick glances across
the crowded room. He could tell that Razz was trying very hard to distract
himself with the puzzle in front of him, but his gaze kept wondering over to
Sans, who was standing alone in a corner, idly sipping on a bottle of ketchup.
His eyes suddenly landed on Razz, and his permanent grin widened as he shot the
other skeleton a wink. Edge smirked at the deep blush that rose to Razz’s
cheekbones, the smaller skeleton quickly glancing away, focusing perhaps a
little too hard on the simple jigsaw before him.
“five g says sans rejects ‘im
when razz finally asks ‘im out.” Edge glanced down to see his brother leaning
against the wall beside him, grin plastered on his face as he took a long swig
of mustard.
Edge hummed, observing the two
skeletons. Razz still seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes off
Sans, and the lazier skeleton was clearly aware of the fact, which appeared to
be thoroughly amusing to him. “Make it twenty G, and you have yourself a deal,
Red,” Edge said, smoothly. He glanced down at Red, who had a brow bone raised.
“gettin’ a bit cocky there,
boss?” He seemed to think for a moment, before nodding. “fine. deal.” They
shook hands, then both strolled over to where Razz was sitting. “heya kid,” Red
greeted, offering the short-tempered monster a (rather forced) amiable grin. “what’cha
up to?”
Razz’s expression was bored,
barely flicking to Red as he continued to stare deliberately at the puzzle
pieces. “You’re a sharp-witted monster, Red. I’m certain you can figure that
out for yourself.”
Edge smirked at Red, who shot him
a scowl. Sitting down, Edge said, “Hey Razz, what do you think of Sans?” Both
Razz and Red’s gazes shot to Edge immediately. While Red looked suspicious,
clearly trying to determine Edge’s angle, Razz was looking very flustered.
“I don’t—nothing!” Razz
spluttered, purple rising to his cheekbones. “I don’t think anything of that
trashbag.” Eyes wide, he blinked for a moment, before quickly returning to his
puzzle.
Red’s eyes remained on Edge,
narrowed and skeptical. Edge maintained a neutral expression, raising a brow
bone at his brother. Red slowly turned back to Razz, the strained grin
returning to his face. “alright kiddo, no need to play it coy. why don’tcha
just ask ‘im out? it’d spare us all a lotta pain.”
Razz went still, and Edge noticed
his fingers tightening slightly around the puzzle piece he was holding. “Your
skull really is thick, isn’t it whelp? I already stated in rather explicit
terms that I have no interest in that grinning piece of garbage.”
Edge and Red exchanged a glance.
While the blush on Razz’s cheekbones was a very clear indicator that he was
lying, neither of them were in the mood to wait for him to concede and admit to
his feelings. Leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, Edge nodded. “I
suppose you’re right, Raspberry.” Razz glowered slightly at Edge for using the
nickname, but otherwise ignored him. “There wouldn’t be much point asking him
out—he’d probably say no anyway.”
This certainly seemed to get
Razz’s attention. Gritting his teeth, he looked back up at Edge, glaring. “No,
he wouldn’t!” he snapped, dropping his puzzle piece. Seeming to realise what
he’d said, he cleared his throat. “Not that—not that I would want him to say yes. I have no interest
in him whatsoever.” He frowned, going quiet, before muttering a silent, “But he
would say yes.”
Red gave a shake of his head,
shrugging. “i dunno, brat, i think the boss is right.”
“I don’t understand why you’re
still talking, whelp,” Razz growled, but Edge could tell that Red’s words were
getting to him. “And he isn’t. My
charms are irresistible.”
Edge could tell that Red was
trying very hard to stifle a snort at this, so he leaned in. “Well, we don’t
really have any way to prove it, do we? I suppose we’ll just have to assume
that Red and I are right. Two against one.” Sitting back again, he smirked at
the rage slowly rising into the deep purple eye-lights of the small skeleton.
Taking a very long, deep breath,
Razz finally looked up, sighing heavily. “You’re both wrong. And I’ll prove it.” With that, he rose to his feet, taking
another stiff breath and straightening his clothes, before marching over to
Sans.
Edge shot Red a smug glance,
before quickly rising to his feet and following Razz. As the Underfell brothers
approached, Razz turned, glaring at them. Sans was regarding the three
skeletons with amusement, chewing on the nozzle of his ketchup bottle. “well,
this looks like it’s going tibia an interesting conversation. what can i do you
for, gents?”
Edge rolled his eyes, but to his
surprise, this only seemed to fluster Razz even further. Clearing his throat,
and placing his hands on his hips, as if to steady himself, he levelled Sans’
gaze. “Red and Edge seem to be under the impression that you would not wish to
date me—should I ask.”
Red shot Edge a grin, mouthing
‘pay up’, but Edge merely rolled his eyes. Sans’ grin widened, but Edge could
see the dubiety in his eyes as he shot both Underfell brothers skeptical
glances. “that so?”
“It is. So.” Razz looked awkward,
seeming to be having a difficult time keeping eye contact with Sans. Silence
reigned between the four skeletons, and Edge could tell that where Razz was
starting to look very uncomfortable, Sans appeared to be trying to stifle a
huge grin.
“so, you gonna ask?” Sans’ voice
seemed to snap Razz out of whatever stupor he’d been in, because he blinked,
his blush darkening.
“W-what?”
Sans shrugged, taking a swig of
ketchup. “well, how are you gonna settle this if you don’t ask me?”
“W-well, I—” Razz fiddled with
his bandana, before clearing his throat. “Very well. Sans, will you—” Razz
broke off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Will you go on a date?
Um—w-with me?” Razz immediately dropped his gaze, his cheekbones glowing, hands
fidgeting uncontrollably.
Sans watched Razz, humming
thoughtfully for a moment. “hm, i dunno kid, it kinda feels like you’re doing
this out of spite.”
Edge narrowed his eye sockets,
and caught sight of Red grinning beside him. Then, to his surprise, Razz pulled
himself up, huffing. “Well. Ninety percent of my important decisions have been
made out of spite. It’s part of my charm.” Razz’s sudden burst of confidence
seemed to falter slightly, and he quickly looked away from Sans again.
But, much to Edge’s surprise, this
actually drew a chuckle from Sans—and even more astoundingly, a pale tint of
blue blush. “heh, it certainly is.” Sans’ gaze drifted to Edge, who suddenly
felt the scrutiny the comedian always seemed to be able to project simply
through the looks he gave. Keeping his expression as placid as he could, Edge
returned the look. Eventually, Sans looked away, his eyes returning to Razz.
With another gulp of ketchup, and a shrug, he said, “alright. sure. let’s go on
a date.”
For a moment, Razz seemed
stunned, opening his mouth and closing it again when he seemed to realise he
had nothing to say. Finally, he seemed to find his words again. “R-really…?” He
narrowed his eye sockets slightly. “This… isn’t a joke, is it?”
Sans chuckled, shoving his hands
in his jacket pocket. “nah. i’d rather sell both my kidneys than patella lie to
you, kid.”
For a moment, Edge wondered if
Razz was going to snap at Sans for the pun. But instead, he gave a curt nod,
hooking an arm around Sans’—clearly much to the lazier skeleton’s surprise.
“Very well. In that case, we ought to discuss the activities of our date.”
Razz’s cheekbones were an intense shade of violet, but other than that, he
seemed surprisingly composed. Edge noticed the return of faint blue to Sans’
cheeks as well, and he shot a very miffed looking Red a smirk.
As Razz strutted through the
crowded living room towards the couch, Sans leaned in to whisper to Edge. “i
know you and red probably took some dumb bet on this, and i’m guessing it was
red who bet against the raspberry.” Edge glanced down at Sans with a raised
brow bone, impressed. Sans’ gaze flicked to Red, who was still looking
unendingly irritated, before turning back to Edge. “can’t deny, i’m a pretty
spiteful person myself.”
“Sans!” Razz called, arms folded
across his chest. “If this is to be a successful date, it requires maximum
effort from both parties! No
fraternising with the losers.” Razz regarded Edge with a smug grin.
“You really showed us, Razz,”
Edge said, dryly. Razz’s grin faded, and he glowered at Edge, before turning
his attention back to Sans.
“Well, Red,” Edge said, turning
to regard his brother, “I do believe you owe me some gold.” Red huffed,
scowling at Edge, and kept his arms firmly crossed. “Oh come now, brother,
don’t be a sore loser. It was a fair bet.”
Edge smirked at Red, who pulled a
face, before glancing at Sans, wondering just how far the grinning skeleton
would be willing to go just to spite Red. But upon closer inspection, Edge
couldn’t help but notice how genuine the normally forced-looking smile on Sans’
face was as he watched Razz, who was talking animatedly. Mind made up, Edge
turned back to his brother, crossing his arms. “Alright brother, I’ll give you
another chance.”
Red’s eyes flicked up, sockets
narrowed in suspicion. But Edge could tell he was intrigued, clearly not eager
to give up his gold just yet. “hmm, i’ll bite. stakes?”
Edge smirked, already feeling
victorious, before leaning in to whisper, “Double or nothing—they will have
slept together before the end of the week.”
Dragon Blog 