Drunk

crushingonsans:

On Discord today, @itsladykit @ollie-oxen-free @queenofbiscuits and I came up with some headcanons for what kind of drunks the skeletons would be? And I thought you guys would enjoy hearing these headcanons

Ollie
fell and papyrus are sober drunks. they seem fine until you realize that theyre in the double digits with shots and they just go silent and then black the fuck out. red is the drunk thats randomly appearing and disappearing through the night. hes there, then gone for an hour, and when he comes back hes missing a shoe and is drunker than when he left. blue is an angry drunk. stretch took one of his m&ms one time while he was drunk and blue broke the bottle on the end on the table and threatened him. he punched a mirror because he thought razz had taken his bandana, but it was just his reflection. the embodiment of chaos. stretch and sans are the frat boy drunks. theyre making dick jokes and flirting with everything that moves. or everything that doesnt. sans insists that he saw stretch making out with a tree, but he was just as drunk so no one really knows. razz is actually a very nice drunk? everyone is surprised. he spends most of his time taking quizzes onlnie to find out what kind of dog he is. gets angry every time hes not a dalmation. slim is an emotional and self-loathing drunk. he doesnt drink for enjoyment, he drinks if theres nothing else that will help him black out so he doesnt have to remember. hes impulsive in all the wrong ways while drunk and tends to edge more on the “hurting myself but i dont really give a fuck” way. slim doesnt really drink

Crush
Blue is the type of drunk that if you don’t watch him like a hawk he’ll be dancing on tables. He’ll be dancing well, damn him, but he probably shouldn’t be whipping his clothes off in the middle of the bar. Razz is the drunk that dances for a while but then as soon as theres a drink in his hand he plants his ass in a chair and does not get out of the chair until he either passes out or goes home because if he gets up he will Fall Over and if he falls over he will Cry. Sans is a weepy-ass drunk, he has like one beer and he’s sobbing into a stranger’s shoulder about how he doesn’t even like alcohol anyway. Red is a hot drunk, and by hot i mean temperature, hes always standing in a cool corner and fanning himself and he always looks like he’s on the verge of passing out, but then he also screams WOOOO! a lot? Probably to make up for the fact that he’s kinda dead inside lmao. Papyrus doesn’t drink often, but when he does, it’s classy af, he sits with his legs crossed and he just kind of watches everyone disapprovingly and pulls Blue off of tables and such. Slim is an angry drunk at first, like picking fights and kicking ass and stuff, but as he gets drunker and drunker he gets to be more of a sad clown. He tells awful fucking jokes then cries when you don’t laugh. “I never should have dropped out of college to pursue comedy” “that literally never happened” “leave me alone mom you’ll never understand” but like it’s not even mom its just Papyrus. Fell thinks he’s a classy drunk but he’s definitely not, he’s a bad flirting kind of drunk that laughs really loudly and thinks “I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER” is a good pickup line and is like legitimately surprised when it doesn’t work. When people point out that he’s married he’s like “I know, it was stretch that I asked!”. Stretch is also a flirty drunk but he’s more like his brother, halfway convinced he’s a stripper. Fell is not a fan of drunk Stretch unless he’s also drunk. It’s not because he minds the flirting, it’s because he fucking always gets thrown up on, what the fuck stretch, i told you not to eat first.

Fresh
I feel like Slim and Razz would have the highest tolerance just in general, mostly because the alcohol in Swapfell is a bit stronger than anywhere else. The person with the lowest tolerance is actually Stretch, this boi just can’t do much after a drink or two. If they’ve been drinking for a while, Papyrus will usually be the first to bed. Getting drunk always makes him sleepy, so once he’s had a few he’s going straight to bed.  Red and Sans are almost always getting into some stupid arguments about science or time theory or having an arm wrestling match, even though Fell almost always breaks it up. Fell will usually go quiet and contemplative, which for the most part isn’t a great thing? Sometimes he’ll break down and start crying and leave before anyone can see him (either Red or Papyrus, if he’s still up, will go and check on him). Blue is quiet for the most part (he drinks more than the average person anyways), but he’ll also want to try that strangely colored drink with all the different colors because it looks like that multi-colored sand you can buy on tv. Sometimes you can hear him mumbling about science stuff that Sans and Red are arguing about, but he’ll never jump in on the conversation. Stretch is a party-er. He wants to dance, he wants to sing, he wants anyone within reach to know how cool his brother is. Razz and Slim almost never get actually drunk around the same time that these idiots do, so they usually just hang around whoever is the least amount drunk and try to get at least buzzed before everyone else is ready to go home. Razz doesn’t actually enjoy drinking all that much and only goes with them because they essentially strong armed him into doing it.

Kit
Blue is a happy, bubbly, and overall very flirtatious drunk. He’s actually quite charming and confident. Stretch is a sloppy drunk. He thinks he’s being suave, but he isn’t, and he gets very handsy. He tends to hop into whatever bed is available, too. Edge gets cuddly. He’s otherwise pretty normal and reserved, but he allows a lot more physical contact. Red is mellow and sleepy. He’s kinda maudlin when he’s not smiling like an idiot. Doesn’t talk so much unless you motivate him. Papyrus is super energetic. He talks even louder than usual and he gets distracted very easily. Sans gets kinda clingy and he laughs a lot at his own jokes. And…his jokes are depressing rather than funny. Slim giggles like a schoolgirl, though he tries to muffle himself. Still doesn’t talk though. Razz doesn’t like to get drunk, because he’s more emotional. Anger and sadness particularly are just right on the surface. It’s like he’s just a bundle of raw nerves. Stretch, Red, and Sans will all band together for various pranks snd idiocy too.

I can’t decide which of these are my favourite. They’re all too good. Oh my god.